Post # 1
This is in continuation to my previous post http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/advice-needed-actual-break-up-or-just-a-rush-of-emotions/
He has decided not to go to Poland anymore. He told me that going to Poland will not be a very feasible option since he will be without any senior management support there. His friends believe that my presence aided that decision.
Now we are back to how it was before. Although, since the small window of spending time with each other is out of the picture, his efforts to meet me and spend time with me have gone from 100% to maybe an 80%.
I usually am a person who holds back from saying what I truly feel (maybe because of experiences in the past). Also, no shame to admit this- I am an over-thinker. If I am not thinking about one thing, it is the other. Off late my favorite topic is- Is he getting too complacent? Ans- Maybe, Maybe not! Is it common for men to get a little laid back once the pursuing is over? Its not that he does not text or meet. His friend was visiting from out of town and he made us meet last night because he wants his close friends to know about me. I find myself internalizing these issues and fear that I might turn into someone who complains a lot. And God knows I do not want that.
Has anybody else gone through the same phase??
Post # 2
Everyone calms down a bit once they get more comfortable in a relationship. If he’s communicating with you everyday and introducing you to friends and family, I’d say that’s a pretty big deal.
The bigger question is, are you happy and secure in this relationship? From your previous post, and now this one, it’s clear that there was a lot of uncertainty. It sounds like maybe you’re both acclimating to the new reality of him not going to Poland – sometimes when something stressful is supposed to happen and doesn’t, people can be like, “now what?” because they (and their body) were expecting something stressful or upsetting that didn’t occur. There are actually biological stress reactions that were occurring and now there’s nothing going on, and that can create a lot of feelings.
If you really like this guy and your relationship, give it some time. It’s not totally clear how long you’ve been together, but it seems early on!
Post # 3
Hey, thank you for the advice. Yes, it’s pretty early on-about 4 months. I do understand that sometimes everybody needs some space, and I want to condition myself into thinking that one day of being distant does not mean something wrong is brewing. He used to stay over for the night a couple of times when Poland was happening. Now that has reduced because he gets done with work after 10 and needs to be home (he lives with his folks). Sometimes, he feels guilty about not spending enough time with them because of his schedule and tries to give them time during the weekends (his family is preparing for his sister’s wedding that is I’m December).