Post # 1
The justice of the peace in our area charges $300, doesn’t show up to the rehearsal, and won’t let us see sample vows until we make a deposit. Has anyone else ever heard of this?!
I can’t believe we don’t even get to know what he might say beforehand! AND we won’t be meeting him until the day of the wedding? When we asked him if he comes to the rehearsal, he responded with, “that’s not appropriate.” How will he know where to go if he’s not at the rehearsal. This is just outrageous to me!
Post # 3
You should really find another JOP, that is not right, and seems fishy…I say don’t use this person…
Post # 4
I have heard of “paid” officiants not coming until the day of the wedding. Unlike a priest, pastor, minister etc., they probably aren’t really going to get to know you personally. Also, we did have a minister marry us, but he didn’t go over the ceremony at the reheasal. It was more a time for us to know when to walk, where to stand, etc. We had a coordinator from the facility direct us where to go – the minister didn’t think that it was his job to do that. He was there to marry us, not figure out the logistics of who stands where.
Post # 5
Going with a JOP it doesn’t sound outrageous, but it does sound like he isn’t a good fit for what you would like or need. I say look for someone else OR if all else fails talk to him and see if you can come to a compromise. I wouldn’t approach it like, “you should do this”…I would say something more along the lines of “we were hoping you could _________ because it would make us feel more comfortable”
Post # 6
Both of my brothers hired random ministers they found on the internet for their weddings. The one was supposed to show up at the rehearsal. The bride had to call her after rehearsal was supposed to start and she ended up showing up about an hour late. That was the first time they met her. The other one did not come to the rehearsal and they met him for the first time the day of the wedding. Not my cup of tea (we’re getting married in a Catholic church), but it doesn’t seem to be an uncommon occurrence for the officient not to be at the rehearsal if it’s not at a church.
Post # 7
We had a “paid” officiant (who was a minister) and we did not pay the extra couple hundred dollars to have a rehearsal with him. Everything worked out fine, ran smoothly and we could not have asked for a better ceremony. We also did not know eactly what he was going to say until the ceremony was actually happening! He had us fill out some questions the month before the wedding and used that to base the ceremony off of. We got to pick our own vows and add things like a sand ceremony and including the e-ring after the giving of the rings.
I was nervous, but so glad we went with him. We got so many complements and loved our ceremony. However, if you are uncomfortable with this situation I would search around. You should not have to be worried about how your ceremony is going to be handled the day of your wedding.
Post # 8
I have a paid officiant (referend) and he is pretty easy to work with. He lets us do what we want and although he normally does not attend rehearsals he said he would if he doesn’t have a wedding going on. I think it is normally for them to not go to your rehearsal but I think if you keep looking you will find someone that is a better fit. My officiant also gave me an outline for the rehearsal if he can’t come what we should do. It made me feel so much better.
Post # 9
My officiant did not come to rehearsals. Her view was that the rehearsal was more for choreographing what others would do, and she did not need to be there because of it. That makes a lot of sense to me. Sometimes you need your bridal party or whomever else to do certain things at certain times (lighting candles, etc) without a script, so they need to rehearse for that reason. Your officiant, however, has everything in front of her on a script. There really isn’t much else that an officiant needs to know besides how they are getting to the front of the room. Where else will your JOP need to go that he needs to practice?
I did not have any “choreography” during my ceremony, so we did not have or need a rehearsal at all.
Post # 10
Our officiant didn’t come to the rehearsal, which was fine, but we did go over everything with her in detail several times before the ceremony and met up a few times. Our ceremony was really the highlight of our whole wedding day, so I would suggest finding someone who will work with your needs and make you feel comfortable.