keep maiden name/hyphenate/something else?

posted 2 years ago in Names
Post # 2
1929 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

I dropped my maiden name and took his last name. I personally don’t like having middle names. 

Post # 3
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I am dropping my maiden name when we get married, but if I were keeping it I would make my maiden name a second middle name. I’m not a big fan of hyphenated names but that’s just me! 

Post # 4
3014 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I took my husband’s name. His is double barrelled already so there was no option to combine our names.

I personally would counsil against hyphanating. It is a pain in the arse! Not only that but people make soooo many assumptions about you based on a hyphanated last name. The most common ones are

1) one of you was each surname (not the case for us)

2) You’re not married (going off the fact our son also has a hyphanated name obvs)

3) We’re posh (one of the last names is Smith)


Post # 5
206 posts
Helper bee

I’m not even engaged yet but every time a friend gets married I worry about when I will have to figure this out. I am the very last in my family with my maiden name and so if I take my SO’s name my family line will be gone. I think 2 last names is too much, but worry that if I double-barrel them it will seem pretentious. Another friend loved her maiden name but to her surprise realised she felt very comfortable dropping it for her new husband’s after the wedding.

Another factor for some of my friends is their profession – some of them have jobs, such as being a doctor, and so use their degrees every time they apply to a position or even training and getting them redone with their married name would be extremely expensive. So that friend has decided that she will likely not have a name change at all if and when she gets married. 

I think it’s a case of writing them all out (repeatedly if necessary) and seeing if any of them feel like you. Can you see yourself as any one of them more than the others?

Post # 6
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m getting rid of my 9-lettered surname for a 4 letters surname. With my 7-lettered first name, it has been a mouthful! That might have something to do with my surname being unusual and difficult to spell. I can imagine 12 letters would be a bit cumbersome to use in day-to-day life.

Post # 7
282 posts
Helper bee

I’m taking FIs name. I had thought about hyphenating, but don’t want to write that all out. Plus we definitely want kids in the future, so I think all having the same last name will just be easiest. I’m not particularly attached to my maiden name, but I’m still warming up to FIs last name as I think it looks weird with my first name (they both end in the same three letters). But I’ll get over it 😂 

I’ve lived in a few states and have noticed this topic is sort of regional. When I lived in North Carolina, it was standard for women to replace their middle name with their maiden name. I had never heard of this before moving there! Where I live (big city in the Midwest), women typically just totally drop their last name and take FIs. 

Post # 8
3529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I did your first option, first-middle-maiden as second middle-married. Darling Husband really was keen for me to take his name and I wasn’t opposed to that, but I also didn’t want to drop any part of my name so I just tacked his on. On most official documents it has my first name, maiden name as middle initial, married name. My SS card and passport have all four names, though.

Post # 9
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I plan on doing the first option! (and it will apply to any children we have as well). So we will all have the same last name and it’ll be short. However, when the full name is read out loud, my maiden name will be there 🙂

Post # 10
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I’m keeping my maiden name. I have no desire to change my name.

Post # 11
1840 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

International paperwork is complicated, so I haven’t legally changed mine. Socially I go by first maiden married.

Post # 12
1727 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

My mom took her maiden name as her middle name.  I’m dropping mine completely,  it’s incredibly common,  as in every team of 5-8 people at work seems to have someone with my last name. I get paperwork destined for others because I share their last name all the time. 

I love my family,  but meh,  I’m ready for a name I have to spell to people lol. Fi has a German 6 letter long last name that is easy to spell,  but unusual,  so he always spells it for people. I can’t wait to change my name! 

Post # 13
3306 posts
Sugar bee

I did the first option – no regrets. My maiden (now 2nd middle) name is 10 letters long, but the only document it is on is my updated birth certificate and passport. 

Post # 14
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

We aren’t having kids so I’m not changing my name. I don’t care if people call me by his name socially or anything. But I’m an only child and I don’t want to give it up. Doesn’t seem to bother my Fiance at all. If it did I would make my obnoxiously long polish last name a middle name like in your first option. 

Post # 15
5005 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2018

Are you really attached to your middle name? In the south, it’s common to go First Maiden Married and drop your middle name. 

I’m going Middle Maiden Married because I don’t like and have never gone by my first name. 

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