Post # 1
Previous board got closed for some reason.
Going to bring the topic up with the husband tonight and I’m nervous! I’m at home on summer break and PMSing so I have lots of time to figure out the logistics of a baby and my ovaries are pinging with baby fever the last few days! At this point, I believe the best time to TTC would be next fall during the first year of my doctorate degree.
Just wanted to open this board to hear your TTC waiting stories or if you’re pregnant now how do you balance that with grad school or jobs and such? I just need people to vent to 🙂
Oooh and tell me your favorite baby names too. I’ve been searching lists like crazy today!
Post # 2
I’m baby crazy right there with you! Of all the exciting things that have happened in my life in the last 6 months – moving to a new state, buying a house, starting a new job, getting promoted, getting married, going on my honeymoon- it is finally starting TTC that I am most excited about! This is my first month TtC and I am counting down the days till I ovulate!
The baby craziness hit me bad this year. I’ve always known I want kids but until the last few months it’s always been a “someday” thing for me. I’m almost 34 so I suppose it’s about time!
Post # 3
mrsdogmama0618 : I just turned 30 this year but I’ve ALWAYS wanted a kid. We’re gonna TTC from October / November. It’s hard waiting but it’s also scary and nerve racking to think about being a parent so I’m just trying to make the most of the time I have now.
Post # 4
lucyinsky : I was never one of those people who knew they wanted kids. 4 years ago I wanted to be child free. Over the past few years my feelings changed drastically. I’m only 24, but I don’t really want to wait until I’m done with school and 28+ to start a family.
Post # 5
My husband and I have decided we’re going to start trying in October! I’m a BIG planner so we’ve been thinking about this since Christmas last year. We were waiting until we bought and settled into a house (check!), my husband got the promotion he was working towards to put us in a better spot finanically (check! just happened last week) and now one last vacation for just the two of us!
To be honest I can’t speak to balancing school/work and having a baby. I grew up with a stay at home mom and the more I think about it that’s really what I imagine for myself too, which is why my husband getting the promotion he got was so important because it puts us in a place where I could be a stay-at-home mom.
Baby names: We’ve been set on Logan for a boy for years. For a girl we’re thinking Elise or Elisiana I like the nicknames El and Ellie
As far as keeping sane while waiting goes, over this past year we’ve just been focusing on goals that put us in a good position to have a baby. It helps to have small goals that lead up to your big goal
Post # 6
We are going to TTC after the wedding in October and I can’t wait!! It feels like torture waiting to try. I’m also nervous because I won’t have any idea how our fertility is until we start trying so I’m nervous about the unknown. We also have a brand new nephew and he is so freaking cute! So hard to watch everyone playing with him and not have one of my own. Hoping these few months go by soon.
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
We’re waiting until the end of next year to start. I’m simultaneously really excited and impatient, and also horrified. I’m really excited to have kids, but when you’ve spent your whole life trying to PREVENT pregnancy it feels really odd to try and make it happen, lol. For now I’m just working on getting in shape and trying to keep my anxiety about it under control.
Post # 8
I’m not still TTCing because I’m 5.5 months pregnant but I saw you asking for favorite baby names so I thought I’d chime in!
My sons name is going to be Lincoln Michael and if we have a daughter in the future we’re going with Charlie Hazel.
Wishing all of you luck when you TTC & baby dust!!
Just saw your balancing question! I deferred finishing grad school after completing my summer semester because I’m high risk, but will finish in the Spring. My husband has a full time job but hours are afternoon to night so he will be watching Lincoln while I finish school in January.
Additionally, I do still work (an accountant) and it’s fine 🙂 My boss knows labor will happen sometime in December and has been understanding.
Post # 9
We just started TTC in July, after our wedding. I’m not sure my cycle has adjusted to being off BC yet, though, so we’ll see how long it takes. It’s exciting and scary all at once.
Post # 10
I waited to TTC until after finishing my PhD. We would have liked to try sooner, but between course work, lab work, teaching, and publishing, the work load was so intense that it was hard enough to find time and energy to keep myself happy and healthy. In my situation, it was easier when I reminded myself that I would be way too stressed to be pregnant or raise an infant during the program.
We started TTC after I defended, and got pregnant right away. I was completely exhausted and had some serious brain fog for the entire first trimester, which did put a dent in my productivity, but work-life balance was do-able with school over. I ended up miscarrying during the second trimester; it was awful, but I’m thankful I didn’t have the responsibilities of the PhD program on top of grieving and recovering.
All to say, waiting was hard, but worth it (for me) to be less stressed and have some major life goals accomplished.
Post # 11
mrsdogmama0618 : Have you done a Master’s yet? Or is this a doctorate program straight out of undergrad?
Personally I wouldn’t have wanted to have a baby in the beginning of grad school… that’s when everything is the hardest! My friends who had babies always did it towards the end, when you’re just writing, because that is flexible at least. When you’re taking classes, maybe teaching, AND doing your research… eek. I guess maybe it depends on your field?
Especially at 24 when you have all the time in the world still. 28 is super young. Sorry, just had to point that at.
As for baby names, my baby’s name is Tristan. We like Josephine for a girl 🙂
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2020 - Upstate NY
Extreme baby fever here too! my youngest is 5 so im ready as ever! We are, however, planning our wedding for next september and wont be TTC until oct/nov next year. At least wedding planning is keeping me busy and im sure this time will fly by but holy cow do i want a baby like NOW.
My 2 sons names start with G, and so does FH and mine, so we kind of want to stick with that but im open to new ideas. I havent really thought a lot about names but a few i really love in general are Gemma, Blythe, Conner and Levi.
Post # 13
KittyYogi : I’ll be done with my masters in May.
Post # 14
PHD grad here (now left academia) and currently ~23 week pregnant.
If you have to do coursework at the start of your PhD I would recommend holding off TTC until you’re out of that and into the research/writing phase. I would say that my least stressful time for PhD was once I had finalized what my chapters/papers were going to be, run the experiements, and then was in the process of analyzing data and writing up but not yet finalizing. The first ~2 years and the last 6 months were definitely the most hectic/stressful, the ~2 years in the middle were pretty cushy and would have been TTC/infant-friendly
As for now, I work a demanding job and being pregnant during it is totalyl do-able but not enjoyable. Balancing TTC wasn’t an issue at all as the day to day time investment is pretty minimal. For pregnancy it’s more just feeling tired and blah and emotionally fragile. I usually have a high stress threshold and I find being pregnant I feel overwhelmed by much less. I also am just fatigued and feel that I have to work harder to get my brain to function properly – I make way more careless mistakes while pregnant which is frustrating.
Again, it’s totally do-able but I have to say that I have not enjoyed my pregnancy largely becaues it does feel like my day to day working life is harder as a result. I find myself frustrated that I’m forgetting words, forgetting obvious things, struggle to work past 10 PM (used to regularly work to 12-1 AM without issue), am uncomfortable at my desk after long hours, and don’t feel as emotionally under control as I used to (which is tough when my work is very client and team heavy).
I am so excited to be pregnant and can’t wait for my little one but pregnancy + demanding work = no fun and I definitely underestimated how pregnancy would impact my work and my enjoyment for my work.
Post # 15
We’re plannign to TTC Fall 2020. Just yesterday I made a spreadsheet with all the recommended new baby & pregnat lady stuff; it came out to about $4,000, not including diapers and wipes (I think of these as being part of our new household budget) or a newborn photo session (just haven’t looked into it). Most of the things we’ll probably get from family and friends either as new gifts or as hand me downs (fortunately), but I did want to get an idea of costs. We’ll be starting to save for some of that.
We also looked at what our insurance covers, after I asked my friend who just had a baby about what costs were unexpected. Her out of pocket medical expenses were around $7k. So I will also be actually calling my insurance to understand what my copays/etc. would be.
So both dreading it and looking forward to it. As to names, I’m being very non-commital, but since our friends had their little one, my mother-in-law and husband won’t stop talking about baby names! It’s such a big decision I’m going to be diving DEEP into baby name lists!