(Closed) keep my china? registry regret.

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sorry, not much help here, but china was basically the only thing that we registered for (dangling prepositions aside).  I think it’s all about attitude, we use ours several times per month… if you’re comfortable doing that I think your fine.  If you don’t see yourself using it at all, then I would guess it is not your dream gift?

Most places that do registeries are very easy with returns, though they may only give you store credit.  

Post # 4
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Macy’s is very easy to return to. We got store credits for the full amount of our returned duplicates.

i feel like many brides return china if they don’t get the full place setting? Do what you like and don’t feel guilty about it.

Grandma’s china might be more special in a sentimental way In My Humble Opinion.

Post # 5
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I just returned a shower gift to Macy’s (I did not have a registry there) and I could only get store credit, which, IMO, is crap.  

I’d say if you could get cash, consider returning it and decide with Fiance what you want to buy together…..

But if you are locked into store credit….unless there is something you really want at Macy’s, I’d say keep it.   In 10 years, would you rather have the china or the several pairs of pants/shirts you bought with the store credit?

Post # 6
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I registered for and kept all place settings I received and then went out and bought the remainder so I have service for 12. Having people over and using china is a big thing in my family. My mom uses her wedding china from 1984 all the time and my grandmother loved china. I use a set of her vintage china for regular dishes and she has like 7 serving pieces that go with – she would always buy new sets of china like that. I love the idea of formal china (plus I use it) and I love the traditionalism and legacy you can leave with it. We’re using my great grandmother’s silverware with it and I think that’s so special. If you did decide to return them, you’re getting your grandmother’s instead, which is really special.

By the way, which Vera Wang set did you register for? Mine are also Vera Wang. 

Post # 7
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

egad – please ignore my terrible grammar and spelling in that post!

Post # 8
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Personally I would keep it. If you have other necessities you need then keep it. It’s generous of people to buy it for you and I’m hopeful we will get a some china too. 

Post # 9
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’d keep it.  We’re inheriting at least one set of china from my side of the family and I still registered for china.  lol  If I wanted to, I could mix them together- is this an option for you?

Basically, I do believe that it comes down to the “will you use it?” factor.  We do (at least a once a month, usually more).  Formal china was a big part of my life growing up (Sunday dinners and the like, plus entertaining and holidays) and my Darling Husband has embraced this rather surprisingly.  It was worth it for us.  If you’re not going to use the placesettings, then yeah…I could see it being a waste.

Post # 10
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I totally get why you’re struggling with this, especially since you’re younger and probably need — and even want — a lot of other things more than you actually NEED or even want another set of china

I have my grandmother’s china, too — in fact, it was a set of china my dad (who was in Korea in the military) had chosen for my mother while they were engaged. He also bought a set for my grandmother, but in a different pattern, and my mother apparently loved the set my dad chose for his mother, so my grandmother not only gave that set to my mother, but also never even took the other pattern — the one originally intended for my mom — out of the boxes. She kept it for my dad’s future daughter that he may one day have. Well, that turned out to be me! What’s amazing is that the pattern he chose, and the colors he chose just could not be any more perfect for my taste and the color scheme of my home. I adore it! I’ve only used it ONE TIME thus far for a dinner party about 10 years ago. However, I take great pleasure in displaying it on my dining room table at different times throughout the year (I simply make up my table as if I were having a dinner party, and I really enjoy looking at it!)

Not only do I have that china, but I also had years ago purchased two other beautiful sets of more casual, dishwasher-safe china myself (one I love but is getting very beat up now that I’m married to Darling Husband and have stepchildren and we use these dishes every day, and another pattern that I still think is pretty but now kind of think is to “fussy” for my taste, so I rarely ever use those.)

However, when I became engaged to Darling Husband, because I was a first-time bride, even though I was in my mid 40s and already had all of these dishes, I still chose to register for my own china pattern with Darling Husband.  What I did was choose a very classic, elegant, plain pattern with a silver rim, since all of my other china/dishes have very definitive patterns and colors. I’ve only ever used THIS china twice. However, it’s perfect for the holidays, because it doesn’t have flowers or colors on it.  It will be great for Thanksgiving dinners and Christmas for the rest of our lives.

So, having said all of that, if you love the Vera Wang for its beauty, and you have any desire to keep it, then keep it and enjoy it, even if you end up just displaying it in a china cabinet or on your table more than you actually use it. (Also, another  advantage of having two sets of china — if you have a china cabinet instead of a sideboard — is that you can still display one complete, gorgeous set of china in your china cabinet even while you’re eating off of the other set! 🙂

ETA:  One more consideration. At SOME point, your china pattern will be discontinued, and someone, somewhere, will be looking to purchase the pieces. If you decide years from now that you aren’t happy with your decision to keep them, you could always try to sell them on eBay or to Replacements.com.  I actually recently purchased 12 placesettings of a discontinued dishwasher-safe pattern from sellers on eBay and Replacements.com to eventually replace my everyday china that is getting so beat up from our everyday use. I had always loved this other pattern, but I chose the one I have now instead. Since they were discontinued years ago, but the colors are almost identical to the pattern I have, and the colors and pattern go perfectly with my decor, I decided to buy them for future use while I could still find them. 🙂

Post # 11
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Personally, I would return it. I’m in a similar spot in life, and I just don’t see the need for china. There are so many more practical things you could put that money towards. 

Post # 12
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s up to you. I inherited china from one of my grandmothers, and I did register for china too. After both of my bridal showers, I didn’t get any place settings yet, and only one platter has been purchased off the registry. So unless we get at least 5 or 6 place settings at the wedding (unlikely at this point) then I will return any of it I do get. I am just not willing to buy it myself right now.

Post # 13
3697 posts
Sugar bee

@talibear:  As one poster noted, Macy’s has a great return policy for wedding registry items, so no worries there. Yes, you only get store credit, but if you accumulate a bunch of credit with them, they sell furniture, mattresses, etc. so you could put all the china returns toward one big-ticket item. You could also just hold on to the store credit for a little while and use it for all your Christmas shopping, etc., if you don’t want anything from Macy’s for yourselves.

Re. whether or not to keep the china: are you planning on having a family? That was the deciding factor in our decision about it. We certainly don’t plan on needing to use china in the near future, and we’ll need to find a way to store it for the near term, but we are hoping to have kids and eventually host family get-togethers, etc., and so we did register for china that we’re planning on using for that, God willing.

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