(Closed) Keep the “silent date” or should I tell him to not sweat the details?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Should I keep the silent date, or should I talk to him?
    Talk!! : (6 votes)
    23 %
    Don't say a word! : (20 votes)
    77 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3943 posts
    Honey bee

    What is a silent date?

    Post # 5
    Member
    3943 posts
    Honey bee

    Oh ok. If you guys have been talking about engagements and have some sort of timeline, then I think you should drop the proposal talk for now. I know its hard to be patient but the proposal is a huge deal to most guys.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6512 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think reassuring him would be fine, if you do it subtly.  Just mention that you saw a girl on a thread taking about how she was disappointed in her proposal, and how pretty much everyone else thougth she was crazy, and you do too, because “All I want is for you to ask me to be your wife.” (or something along those lines). Try to be casual about it, and follow the last part with a big kiss πŸ™‚

    Post # 8
    Member
    215 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Have you ever seen Mr Bee’s Three Step Plan?!  He mentions not to speak of engagement/weddings.  I LOVE to talk about engagement because my SO think I want a ridiculously expensive ring.  To be honest?  I’d accept his proposal if he did it without a ring.  So I’m always trying to let him know, but it drives him nuts!  Well, I made a plan to sit back, relax, and INDULGE IN MYSELF!  Around my birthday (Nov. 17th) and Christmas, if he asks what I want, I’m simply going to tell him, “I just want to be your wife.”  And move on.  Try something like that.  Don’t yak his ear off about it, he already knows.  Believe it or not, they’ve been listening.  I know, I know, it’s HARD to not talk, but find things that interest you and take care of yourself first!  It’ll keep you from going insane. :o)

    Post # 9
    Member
    1090 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    As in next week Sep 22? or next year? Just making sure Im on the same page.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1090 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @mandigrl04: love your date. Our wedding is this Oct 22. πŸ™‚

    If I were you, I wouldn’t say anything and let it happen. You know it will happen, and let him think it out and do it how he wants, because some guys this is the one thing they feel that they control in the whole process! πŸ™‚ Good luck!!

    Post # 13
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Honestly I wouldn’t say anything, especially if he’s voiced feeling overwhelmed by the talk. Since he knows when the photos are scheduled it seems like a good idea to just leave it alone for a bit. If you’re feeling antsy, maybe call the photographer and check on their cancellation policy. I wouldn’t say anything to him though.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2031 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I wouldn’t say anything beyond the 22nd of September.  Talk to the photographer, find out what kind of deposit she needs to hold the date, and if you can cancel at any time and not lose it.  If he hasn’t proposed by the cancellation date, you can either cancel the photos (which he may have forgotten about, he is a guy) or you can get go and get non-engagement photos taken, at the end of the day you’ll have some beautiful non-formal shots to hang in your home, and you can laugh about it down the road.  You don’t need an entire month to prepare for the photo’s themselves, just time to plan what you’re going to wear πŸ™‚

    Post # 16
    Member
    493 posts
    Helper bee

    If you’ve been talking about it I would keep quiet.  Not forever though; a month at a time is what I did. If I wouldn’t have talked I’ve would not have known that my SO was just trying to plan this perfect proposal. He thought that is what I expected and I didn’t. So we were both on two different wave lengths. I tried to get him to understand that he was stressing and over thinking it and that the proposal is not what I’m looking forward to. It’s being married to him. I’m hoping and praying that it stuck. Although I don’t think I needed to tell him “how” to propose. I still want him to do it. Hope this helps! Good luck!!

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