(Closed) Keep your boob inside.

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 92
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@zippylef:  yep. seems like much ado about ….who knows?! A lot can happen between now and then, I’d seriously not be putting any bride thought or energy into this until a couple of months before, if even then. Seems like nothing to be stressed about before the baby is even here.

 

 

Post # 93
Member
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

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@Sugaree:  Agreed!  

What bothered me most about the original post was that you said “ And the thing is that I could even get PAST the breastfeeding thing…”  It makes it sound like you have an issue with her breast feeding period.  Do not try to convince her to bottle feed her child.  This is her child and you have no say in how she feeds him.  That being said, she should cover up if at all possible.  Of course, in reality, that may NOT be possible and that’s just something you’ll have to accept.

Post # 94
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m somewhat of a hippie too, so I have a few friends who are similar, but they would NEVER do this. I’m a vegetarian, but I’m not going to share that and the details of how animals are slaughtered with other guests at a wedding, because it will make them uncomfortable, even if it is the reality of the situation. 

It’s not about being ashamed of her body. It’s not about making a statement about her beliefs. It’s not about her. This is not her wedding. It’s about being respectful to other people, especially to a friend who has been so kind and accommodating to her. Like it or not, people will be uncomfortable with it and it will sour the experience for some guests to a certain degree. She could just nurse him in private. It’s the least she could do to just show that she values you and your special day. 

Post # 95
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

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@allihappy:  It’s not about her. This is not her wedding. It’s about being respectful to other people, especially to a friend who has been so kind and accommodating to her. I

That being said:  It’s only a wedding.  The world doesn’t stop just because you are getting married.  Even the royal wedding didn’t have that kind of power.

Post # 96
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

I think you you should just try to bring your point across to her, you are being very accomodating. 

Post # 97
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@Sugaree:  That’s not relevant. Sometimes we put our own comfort aside ever so slightly just for one day to try and see the other person’s view and to try make them happy because we care about their happiness. Surely that’s not too much to ask?

Post # 98
Member
2780 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@Elvis:  My friend asked me if I minded before she ever tried to breastfeed in front of me, to me that is just the respectful thing to do. Just like if you realize the child is probably hungry or it’s feeding time, it’s polite to offer to leave the room in their home or at the hospital. I just don’t understand why many women don’t just pump when they have errands to run wfor hours on end with their baby? But whatever that’s their choice, I don’t care as long as they can be resepctful of my desire to not have to see that. It really just creates a completely awkward moment for all.

 

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@DarceyD:  Nope, wouldn’t be ok with a dirty diaper sitting on the table, but the table is used for eating. And since we’re talking about a baby here, it’s really not any different. I would also be extremely grossed out and annoyed if someone breast feed at the table. That’s my opinion though, you don’t have to share it. Also, a baby peeing, pooping or farting happens whenever they feel the need, not while the mom is changing their diaper, if that were the case babies wouldn’t wear diapers at all, so your analogy is doesn’t make sense.

Most diaper bags come with travel changing pads for use to change diapers whenever and where ever, if someone changes their child’s diaper on a chair or the floor near you and doesn’t clean up do you really trust that they cleaned up when changing the diaper in a different room? 

 

Post # 99
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Normally I don’t care at all about brestfeeding, it’s natural etc. But I think she’s being over the top.  Brestfeeding is such a hot debate for some reason, with people strongly for or against.   So she’s prolly just letting her passion for that debate cloud her judgement.  

Keep in mind that she’s still pregnant, and ideas about what she thinks she’ll do now will be totally different once she’s an actual mum taking care of a baby.  Once she’s a frazzled mum of a growing baby, she’ll have more experience and hopefully wisdom that she will understand there’s a time and a place for feeding.    

By 11 months, babies don’t need to be fed every 5 mins so she can easily manage the feedings around the ceremony time. I’d let it drop for a while and closer to the wedding, ask her what her feeding schedule is like and can she work it around the actual ceremony.  The moment a “but!” comes out of her mouth, just say you’re paying thousands of dollars for pictures, and it’s not unreasonable to ask this and that it is unreasonable of her to not honor this simple request.  By then, *hopefully* she will understand.  

Post # 100
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@allihappy: When the comfort of other people overrides the comfort of my child, then yes, it’s too much to ask. 

Post # 101
Member
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

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@drummerbride:  Nope, wouldn’t be ok with a dirty diaper sitting on the table, but the table is used for eating. And since we’re talking about a baby here, it’s really not any different. I would also be extremely grossed out and annoyed if someone breast feed at the table.

But you said the table is for eating.  Why would that gross you out?  The baby is eating.  

Post # 102
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@Sugaree:  Honestly, the child is not going to be emotionally scarred from waiting a minute to be fed. So if someone is that selfish, they shouldn’t attend another person’s special day. End of story.

Post # 103
Member
2780 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@Sugaree:  Your opinion that there is nothing gross about breastfeeding, is just that your opinion, and you are fully welcome to it. It’s your right to feel it’s some sort of beautiful natural thing. Just like it’s alright for those of us who disagree with you, to disagree with you.

To me breastfeeding is disgusting, breasts may have been put there with the purpose of feeding our offspring, back when formula didn’t exist. Just like pubic hair was put on us to help prevent those areas from getting cold, or dirty and whatnot…that was also before clothes were around. Humans weren’t designed with clothes on, should we stop wearing clothes just because that was what was intended when we were created? Nope, it’s called evolving.

Breasts are no longer solely for the purpose of feeding our offspring anymore. If they were, they wouldn’t be topless bars. Or even a whole genre of porn dedicated solely to breasts. Which is why I think breastfeeding mothers should be respectful to those around them, not everyone thinks its some beautiful and natural thing, and I shouldn’t have to have someone else’s beliefs thrust upon me, that infringes on my rights.

 

Post # 104
Member
1397 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Breastfeeding is a really sensitive issue, so I’d tread lightly here. She is doing what is best for her baby, and she has ever right to do so. She also has every right to do so in public. That being said, if I were her, I’d be excusing myself to a more secluded place to breastfeed and taking measures to cover my boobies up a bit. Still, I don’t think you can tell her what to do beyond asking her to be descete about it. Mention this to the photo/video people, and tell them that you’re not in love with the idea of her nips appearing in your wedding album, so that they can try to work around that issue. I think it’ll be fine. Anyway, there’s always PhotoShop. 

Post # 106
Member
6036 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

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@Sugaree:  I think thats a little extreme. Its a 15 min ceremony with only a slight chance that feeding will have to happen, if it does its not going to cause extreme discomfort (or maybe not any at all) to the baby to have a light shawl over it while it feeds. Same goes for the reception. its not asking much to either cover up and be respectful of all of the other guests and most importantly of the bride’s wishes (she is a friend after all) or go to another more private location just this once for this event that is an important day for your friend.

 

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