(Closed) Keep your middle name, or drop it when you get married?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I kept my middle and moved my maiden to the middle-so 2 middle names. I’ve never really had a problem with it. However, if I do have to email my name to someone, for instance, to get clearance to get onto military base, I always say, “First: Mary Middle: Jane Smith  Last: Jones.” 

On most legal documents you dont need to sign your entire name, just your initials. So I sign, Mary JS Jones. Some systems can’t handle 2 middle initials, so it sometimes comes out Mary J Jones. I’m fine with that. And if you have a very finicky system just merge your two middle names together for those situations Mary JaneSmith Jones. 

I’m really glad I did this. My middle name is my Grandmother’s. And I didn’t want to lose my entire identity by giving up my maiden name. Now that we’ve had to use Donor Eggs to have a baby, I’m so glad I kept as much of my name as I did. 

Post # 32
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

As I mentioned earlier in this thread, I went the double middle name route, but I didn’t know that so many people wouldn’t know about dropping the middle name. My mom went that route. But I always knew her middle name too. Dropping it from a legal name doesn’t make it nonexistent.

Post # 33
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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libradana301:  That must be outdated info you read as I did it last year and I didn’t have to petition anyone.

Post # 34
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I’m keeping both my middle name and maiden name, and will take his last name.

Post # 35
Member
246 posts
Helper bee

keeping middle, dropping maiden. i love my middle name and my maiden name is nothing special (LOL!)

Post # 36
Member
1355 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Modern, Classic, Fun

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KoiKove:  I just have to say I love your name change system!! Thinking of doing something similar to you!!

Post # 37
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Argh. This is the worst for me. Years ago he told me not taking his name would be a deal breaker. Meanwhile, my dad asked me to keep it, since I’m the last in the line. 

I thought about dropping my middle name and making my last name my middle, but I feel like I’m losing my identity and disrespecting my heritage. My first name comes from my maternal great grandfather, and middle name comes from my paternal grandmother. My last name is Italian, and is the name of the village my family came from. 

His parents just picked two names they liked, he’s not named after anyone. Any he doesn’t even know his nationality. He just doesn’t understand why it’s so hard for me. 

 

Post # 38
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

drop maiden name for husbands and keep middle nane

Post # 39
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

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ellagrace:  Thanks! The other advantage of doing this is when you are too lazy to change some stuff–for example, 4 years later I still have some credit card in my maiden name. Not an issue since on my DL and passport, my maiden (and middle) name are listed. That has come in handy several times!

Post # 40
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

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ajmauro:  My daughter has two middle names, why don’t you keep your first name, then your middle name, your villiage name as a second middle name.

Initially I did not change my last name, we had a child and we gave her my husbands last name. Once I registered her to school she was under a different name then me, I found that I always had to say I am Mrs. XXX her to pick up me daughter but her name is YYY. At that point it started to bother me that my child had a different last mane then me. 

Just something to consider, before you decide on weather ot not to change your name.

Post # 41
Member
1355 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Modern, Classic, Fun

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KoiKove:  love it!! Random question for you though, I love having stuff monogrammed (handbags, wallets etc) so what do you consider your monogrammed initials? Do you use 3 letters or 4?

Post # 42
Member
697 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m keeping my middle name and dropping my maiden name. My grandmother and I have the same middle name and we’re extremely close. It means a lot to me and wouldn’t change it for anything! And it’s important to me to have the same name as my soon to be husband! So it makes sense to do it this way 🙂

Post # 43
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I never understood why people drop their middle name?? I just changed my last name…

Post # 44
Member
9576 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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ClaudiaKishi:  because in most states in the US (atleast mine NY) it just says first last on the form and by default middle stays. To legally change you middle name it’s another set of hoops to jump through, I thought about doing it though.

Im keeping my middle, all the women in my maternal family have it dating back to great great grandmother. 

Post # 45
Member
3164 posts
Sugar bee

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ajmauro:  this.my name is French and I am literally the last person in Australia now who has it. It’s a double edged sword as I also feel like I’ll be losing my heritage if I got rid of it but then I don’t have any family with the same name. 

I think I will keep my first name and hyphenate my last name. Hadn’t thought of getting rid of my middle name. I might do that as my dad chose it and we’ve been estranged since I was a baby. Good idea! 

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