(Closed) Keep your middle name, or drop it when you get married?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2016

chelsjohnston:  dropping my maiden name. It’s very long, and I love my middle name. 

Post # 47
Member
12655 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I dropped my maiden name because I wanted to share the same name with my children. I like my middle name and would not have given it up either way. 

Post # 48
Member
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Most people I know who changed their names dropped their middle names and used their maiden names as their new middle names. I didn’t even know you were “allowed” to keep your middle name until much later in life than is like to admit, haha. (I didn’t change my name at all when I got married, so clearly I am no expert.)

Anyway, do what you want. What sounds better? What name are you more attached to? Would you like to keep both names as middle names? 

Post # 49
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee

I kept my middle name aNd moved my maiden name to a second middle naMe. 

Post # 50
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m surprised so many PPs have never heard of this. It’s extremely common in the south for women to be known as first, maiden, last name. I dropped my middle name and made my maiden name my new middle name. (I went from LAT to LTJ) When I was changing my name at the SS office, I just told them that’s what I wanted to do and that’s what they did, no questions asked or additional hoops to jump through. Reason I did this is because it’s common practice in the south and my maiden name means more to me than my middle, and I didn’t want 4 names.

Post # 51
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

I didn’t drop or change any part of my name. And I’ve been married 37+ years, so it does work.

Post # 52
Member
7898 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t have a given middle name, so my husband’s name will become my last name, shifting my maiden name to the middle. Even if I did have a middle name, I would probably still favor my maiden name. That last name is the one given to me at birth, and all my degrees and postgrad stuff were completed with the maiden name. It’s important to me!

Post # 53
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

ellagrace:  I’m not a big fan of the traditional monogram with the Last name initial in the middle. I always thought it looked funny. So if I was going to do it I would either do my first and last name initials only or do all  4, but in order. Fiance MidI MaidI LI

Post # 54
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I didn’t even realize this was a thing (dropping middle name and replacing with maiden name) until I got engaged.  With that being said, I will be keeping my middle name because it’s very special to me.  It’s my late grandmother’s name.  

I’ve thought about doing a hyphenated last name of mine and FI’s names, but I think that would be too long.

Post # 55
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I dropped my maiden name, but I definitely debated the choice 🙂

Post # 56
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

 Keeping my Vietnamese middle name, dropping my maiden

Post # 57
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee

misschickpea:  I’m with you. I’m dropping my middle and keeping my maiden. I’m one of two daughters so it’s important to me to keep the name and I know my father will be touched. Besides, my initials would be HAG if I kept my middle and took his last name! Nope. No good.

Post # 58
Member
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

chelsjohnston:  I’ll have 5 names with I get married, I think. 

This is what it currently is legally: First Middle Mother’sMaiden Last

This is what it’ll be when I get married: First Middle Mother’sMaiden Last MarriedName

Post # 59
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

ajmauro:  I absolutely get this. last night Fiance was telling me how it would be so hard to change his name because he’d be losing his family history and his connection to his heritage and I just looked at him and said “male privilege in a nutshell. You’ve never had to consider doing that, unlike women who marry.” He’s supportive of whatever I want, but I’m feeling all of those things too. 

Post # 60
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’ve never understood the concept of dropping the middle name and putting the maiden in. 

The way I see it (And I am a very traditional person), Everyone important in your life will still know you are a “Smith” (For Example) regardless of if you drop the name and take on your husbands. 

 

For example, people will introduce you as Mandy Allen, Jenni Smith’s Daughter… 

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