(Closed) Keeping a secret

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Honest is the best policy.  You’re on track to repair the damage, and you’re taking the right steps, but if I found out that Fiance had been hiding something like that from me, I would be upset.  If he came clean, laid out his plan of action, then I’d be more likely to forgive.  Good luck 🙂

Post # 4
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@purpledaisies:  I think you need to tell him ASAP. The longer you keep it from him, the more upset he will be.

Post # 5
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t have advice on how to tell him, but I would just get it out as soon as possible.  It’s eating at you, and you have worked to really resolve the problem to the best you can at this point.  He has to respect you for that….we all make mistakes, but you’re working to fix it.  You also have to respect that honesty is a HUGE factor in relationships, so if he does find out that you have lied or kept this secret, then he may feel betrayed and that could be detrimental to the relationship.  Personally, I don’t think this is as bad as it could be, so maybe you’ll be surprised with his response and hopefully support…hope so! 

Post # 6
Member
574 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I would tell him soon.  That’s a big secret to keep, and especially if you ever completely join finances, he deserves to know since it would affect him too.  

It sounds like you’re doing a good job with money now, so focus on how far you’ve come and the specific steps you took to get back on track financially.  Detailing the ways you fixed the problem shows this was something that happened in your life, but you’ve learned from it and moved on.  I think that would be the best way to tell him.  Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

agreed, healthy relationships should not include secrets, not to mention the stress that this can cause you in the long run. Tell him as soon as you can but do it gently and tell him how much you have done to correct it already.

 

Post # 8
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would be pretty upset if my Fiance hid a secret that big from me for 2 years, so be prepared that he won’t take it well. 

I think at this point you just need to tell him. Tell him that you want to be honest with him and give him your reasons (embarrasment?) for not telling him sooner. 

Post # 10
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would tell him now but also include the ways that you’ve built up your credit and your credit score. It’s always best to be as honest as possible when it comes to these things, especially if you are looking to combine finances or anything like that. 

Post # 11
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am not really sure how to tell him, and I could just say honesty is where it’s at (which is true), but the truth is that there isn’t going to be an easy way to tell him or a way to tell him where his reaction wouldn’t be disappointment. I would just get it out as soon as possible for your relationship’s sake and for yours. Sorry I can’t be more helpful. Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Awesome!!!! Glad he was understanding, he seems like a keeper.

Post # 14
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Great result, I’m so happy his reaction was so positive and accepting!

Post # 15
Member
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Gkad he was understanding! Try to remember that someone watching their mom (someone who is supposed to be a responsible adult) file bankruptcy due to their poor decisions is much different than those of us who have made financial mistakes as young adults and are now righting them

Post # 16
Member
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Glad it worked out for you! 

The important thing is, you are on track now and heading in the right direction.  🙂

The topic ‘Keeping a secret’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors