(Closed) Keeping baby name secret from family–is this normal?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 107
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee

I had actually never known anyone to keep the name secret (or at least admit to keeping it secret instead of just saying “we didn’t decide yet”) before chatting here, but I guess it is more common than I thought. I’m pregnant now and I thought that I would keep the name secret, but it ALWAYS seems to be the 2nd or 3rd question I am asked by EVERYONE, including strangers, so for me it was just easier to spill the beans and not have to lie all the time. Noone has said anything negative (at least not to my face) about our name, and some people actually had really sweet comments, so I don’t regret sharing it now.

Post # 108
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Yes thats entirely their right. Frankly, I don’t blame them. Not everything needs to up for public discussion or debate. 

Post # 109
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Super common!  My mom is so critical so my sister and her husband kept it a secret SOLELY bc they didnt want my mom to have something negative to say to sway them away from it.

ANother friend waited bc she said she was less likely to get a bunch of monogrammed burp clothes and BS like that when she really just wanted stuff on her registry.

Post # 110
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My only experience with this is through a friend. They were team green and had picked a few potential names. They shared them with a close friend (I knew them too). Anyways, this friend went out and got a KITTEN a few weeks later and named her one of their potential names. And that ruined the name for them. Luckily, it was a girl name and they had a boy. And they named him Linus, which totally FITS their kid. But I’d be peeved if that happened to me. There are also a lot of stories on the Bee about “name stealing” where you say you like the name Joe and then I name my kid Joe and we’re not friends. They can’t steal it if they don’t know it. And if they do, well, you can’t be mad 😉

Post # 111
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If the parents want to keep the name to themselves thats their choice. To be quite honest we will do the same. I dont want peoples opinions on our baby names-which they feel entitled to give. Dont feel snubbed!! 🙂

Post # 112
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - W Hotel Silicon Valley

@temporary:  This is fairly common, don’t feel snubbed! There are plenty of reasons that people might do this. Avoiding negative opinions is a huge one. Or perhaps they want to keep some element of surprise to announce after birth. Maybe they haven’t fully committed to a name yet and are waiting until the birth to meet him/her and make the final decision.

Post # 113
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I can never decide what I’d do… on the one hand I totally understand wanting to keep it as a surprise for when the baby is born, but on the other hand, I think you need to hear a few people’s reactions to a name before you go ahead and give it to a child! think about it, the kid is going to be dealing with those reactions their entire life. a friend called her son Juke. EVERYONE reacts the same way – “Duke?” no, Juke with a J “oh.. as in Jukebox?”. I think if she’d had to endure that reaction for a few months before the birth, she might have had some empathy for the kid and realised that he would have to spend his whole life saying “yes, like a jukebox”.

i think I would maybe tell my immediate family the names I’m thinking of, but not every random person who asks. theres nothing wrong with saying “oh, we’ve got a few ideas, but we’re going to wait until they arrive to see what fits”. 

although my favourite boy’s name is my grandfather’s name, so it might not be a good idea to tell the other side of the family about that until its too late, I don’t want any “oh, so will the next one be named after me?”  

on last thought – both my husband and I have family middle names that we will pass down, so I  guess if people get annoying you could tell them the middle name to satisfy that thirst for information! so “no, haven’t picked the name, but her middle name will be Elizabeth no matter what”

Post # 114
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@temporary:  Yes you’re over-reacting. We told our families the gender but aren’t telling even our closest family our baby name until he is born – it’s VERY hard to choose a name and people tend to give less opinions once the child is actually here. We dont want anyone to make us second guess our decision. Probably same with your brother.

 

 

 

Post # 115
Member
12246 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t blame them– the second you say “I think I like the name XXXX”, someone goes “OH! I know someone named XXXX! She was arrested for prostitution and commited suicide in prison!”

Post # 116
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We are definitely keeping ours a secret until she’s born. We have very opinionated family members, and everyone will have some sort of opinion or suggestion and frankly, we just do not want to hear it! Plus, we have the world’s perfect name (I think so, anyway!), and I don’t want anyone else using it before we can! :o)

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