(Closed) Keeping divorced in-laws separated at wedding events…is it possible?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t know how many chairs are in each row but I’d probably sit them at opposite ends of the row with grandparents or other close family members in between..

Post # 5
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Edited b/c I misunderstood.  Whoops.

Second monita’s suggestion!

Post # 6
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Tough situation, but Future Mother-In-Law has it the hardest, so I would focus on her. Do you have a nice, single older uncle or friend? Best of all, gay and catty? Have him escort her for the weekend. Ask him nicely to do a super huge favor for you that you will be eternally grateful for. Seat them next to eachother for the rehearsal dinner, and have him sit with her at the ceremony. Put Future Mother-In-Law in the first row, towards the aisle, and Future Father-In-Law and wifey in the second row, in a little from the aisle. That way Future Father-In-Law will still be up front to see his son, but won’t by in FMIL’s line of sight. Or put him in the front on the other side from Future Mother-In-Law.

Post # 8
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My parents are this couple. My Dad did the same thing.  When my brother got married last year at the Rehearsal Dinner I assigned tables, not seats just tables.  I put my mom and her sisters/BILs and her parents on one side of the room and then my Dad and his wife with his sibilngs on the other side.  Then I sprinkled the remaining guests around.

For the ceremony we sat my mom at the end closest to the asile with her boyfriend beside her.  Then both sets of grandparents and then my Dad and wife.  The only problem was that my dad couldn’t see around the groomsmen.  We didn’t know this because we didnt’ have a rehearsal at the venue.  Had we, we could have moved them to another row or moved the GMs.

At the wedding we did the same thing with the table seatings.  My mom did a really good job of knowing where THEY were at all times and floating around the room to avoid them.

We are trying to do the same for our wedding. Only difference is going to be the ceremony since he’ll walk me down the asile.  I’m not sure where to put him.

Post # 9
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I pretty much had this exact situation at my wedding, only we only had 30 people total, so it’s not like they could avoid each other.  Surprisingly, they each did their part to avoid standing next to each other for anything.  I didn’t worry about the seating, I figured they could find their seats on their own.  At this point, it’s their business, not mine and I didn’t want to get in the middle.  The only time that we actively seated people was the Rehearsal Dinner.  It was awkward, and I asked my family to move around to accomodate the kids (but actually to accomodate the adults!).  My mom later told me that the whole time FMIL was going on and on about how much she hated Future Father-In-Law, and my mom point blank told her to suck it up and deal with it, that this weekend was not about her and her drama, and she should keep it to herself.  (I HEART my mom!!).  Darling Husband and I never heard a peep about it, so apparently my mom’s “pep talk” worked.  Honestly, they are adults, and should be able to deal with it themselves.  At the reception we had all parents seated at one table, we just separated my FIL/SMIL and my Mother-In-Law using my parents.  I also sat my SIL next to my Mother-In-Law for moral support.

Post # 10
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My sister had a similar situation at her wedding and the groom’s mom pretty much insisted at no point (other than the wedding and reception) could she even be in the same room as her ex and his GF- and she had even remarried.  So my sister made sure they had rooms to wait in during pictures that were not near one another, arranged pictures so they wouldn’t cross paths, had snacks in separate areas before the ceremony, and placed them in separate pews during the ceremony.  At the reception she had a table or two between the two of them, but that wasn’t a big problem.  At the rehearsal dinner the Mother-In-Law wanted to sit with our parents, so my sister placed Father-In-Law & Girlfriend at the opposite end of the room with the Future Sister-In-Law & Future Brother-In-Law.  There were words exchanged on the day of the wedding, but enough key players new the situation and managed to keep it away from the bride & groom.

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