(Closed) Keeping Everyone Involved (Already?? Long)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

No judgement here!  Although the dress is totally not the thing for me, I see it as shopping like any other dress and I don’t think you need to be asked just to window shop.  Ultimately YOU have to decide what is more important – that your friend is involved, or your family is involved.  I tend to say honesty is the best policy because you may fall in love with a dress with your friend and then what?  How do you explain that to your family?

Post # 4
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would not go and tell her that you dont want to get too far ahead of yourself before the engagement is official. You can ask her how much she wants to help you/be involved.  Maybe you can set aside a night with her when she is here to have wine and flip through bridal magazines and make notes for things and ideas you like. 

Then when it comes to dress shopping, decor etc you could always send her pics and ask for her opinion so she can be involved remotely. 

Post # 5
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Or maybe Skype the later (post-engagement/with family) dresscapade. 

Post # 7
1954 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Why does it have to be August? If August is so busy for her, what’s wrong with September or October? I know the dress is the most fun part, but you’ll have plenty to do getting your budget set up, looking at venues, making a guest list, etc in your first few weeks that dresses can wait a bit. 

Post # 9
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Def. No judgement! 🙂 you are a sweetheart!.. I honestly wouldn’t want to go try on dresses before I was engaged, but that’s just me.. Not only would I personally come out of there a little bummed, but it would also take away how special it will be once you are engaged and planning the wedding. 

Its a tricky situation because you want your family and friend to be there, and it’s not going to work out for your friend to come with you after August.. So that’s tough, but maybe she could end up taking a trip by you a few months from now? Is that a possibility?.. Im very close with my girlfriends and my mother, but I would Kways choose her first in that type of situation.. 

I really like the suggestion made by: 

@ThreeMeers:  ! 

Have a magazine night! Or browse through Pinterest! 

Post # 10
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think this is a decision only you can make. Since you and your SO already have discussed it and he already has the ring, I don’t see a problem with going now, just to look and make your friend happy. It’s not like you’re doing it behind your unknowing boyfriend’s back. And you can take your family dress shopping next time, so everyone will be involved. Unless you’re super uncomfortable with the idea, I would do it and have a good time with your friend.

Post # 13
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Why don’t you go with her to try on bridesmaids dresses to see what style/color you want? It has to get done eventually, and you want to save YOUR dress for your family/after you have the ring. You can still do bridal things with your friend!

Post # 15
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

When I was “enaged to be engaged” I did not make any plans as if I were engaged. 

I also knew the engagement was coming soon, but yet I still got a roommate for my house!!  I acted as if it didn’t happen yet. 

I think when he does pop the question and you’ve entered the engagement period, use that period to do all the engagement like stuff.  Enjoy the anticipation stage right now.  I know she wants to be involved, but you don’t have to accomodate her before the eggs are all hatched becasue there is a time window to do this!  Enjoy each stage as it’s meant to be!


Do you know how long you’ll tentatively be engaged?

Post # 16
194 posts
Blushing bee

No judgement at all here either. I am also not engaged yet, but I have a feeling that it is coming up. I am not  much of a birthday person at all, I used to be and it changed after my grandmother had passed away. Anyhow, I told my boyfriend we could totally just skip it altogether, and he has this amazing day planned in Las Vegas (we live in California), but we will also be attending a wedding the day of my birthday, and his Mother is turning 50 as well. I think he wants his family there when he asks me.. kind of makes sense. I am sorry, this is your post, and I am rambling.

Anyhow, I don’t think there is anything wrong with trying on dresses and finding your style. Maybe you won’t find “the one” until later, but at least you can get together an idea about it. Your family will understand if they do find out that you tried on a few dresses. There are likely to be more dress appointments, in which they can go to those. 

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