(Closed) Keeping guests from drinking too much?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hmm, not much help for you as I am having a dry reception, but I have heard of people giving a heads up to the bartender. 

Post # 4
Member
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

The only reccomendation I can come up with is that you give the heads-up to the bartender about problematic people. I’d rather have the bartender shut them down and refuse to serve them vs. me keeping an eye on them all night.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

 I think you should give them all the alcohol they want before the wedding.  Then they won’t even make it to the reception.  (Just kidding.)

I agree that you should be upfront with the bartender.  It won’t be the first time for him/her.  Without knowing your family, I think it could be fine to ask someone to help out.  Do any of these people have spouse who, might logically be responsible for them?  If someone is an understandable choise, OK.  But I’d be careful not to saddle a guest with a job that could spoil their evening, or possibly land them a black eye.

As for discussing their beheavior with them, I can see that.  Hey if they can’t act like adults, this is what they get.  If you don’t feel like you’re the best person for the job, I’m sure someone els will be.  You dad(mom) can talk to his mom, and sister.  Your Fi can talk to his best man.  And the cause trouble have someone escort them out.

Good luck.

Post # 6
Bee
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna

I would not only give the bar tenders a heads up, I would give him pictures of the people you are worried about so he can identify them.  Maybe he can make sure to make thier drink REALLY weak.

Another thought is to have drinks for the first part of dinner and then towards the end close that down for a tea/coffee/espresso bar to help sober people up.  Hope that helps. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We’re anticipating a problem with some of the groomsmen (and a few of the BMs) to take an advantage of the open bar.  We plan on talking to the bridal party to show some class until dinner is over but once the dancing starts, and all their duties are done, it’ll be a free for all…

I don’t know how much this will help, but we do plan on shutting down the open bar during the dinner.  Hopefully it’ll give pause to the constant boozing and help them sober up until all the formalities are over.

I agree to the previous posters to give the bartender a heads up on problem guests.  It is afterall the bartender’s job to cut off people when necessary.

Post # 8
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

You can ask you bartender either as a blanket "don’t serve drinks to anyone who’s obviously inebriated" (which is actually illegal in some places, like Canada, not that that stops people from doing it) or you can print out their pictures on a sheet and give them to him with a warning to "limit these people to 1-2 drinks per hour, OR ELSE" (and if they don’t follow through, DO NOT TIP THEM).

Having a cash bar (with or without first drinks paid for) may dissuade the best man and the aunt to a point, though probably not the grandmother, if she is in fact an alcoholic. Though if you do have a cash bar, you risk having others call you tacky (though personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it).

Post # 10
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My mother is quite the teetotaler (and the one paying for the wedding!), but many family members and friends like to drink.  Finally, we came to a compromise that my Fiance and I will pay for the alcohol.  We’re having wine during the meal and then the guests will each recieve two drink tickets.  That way we can limit how much everyone drinks, but everyone also has a choice to drink alcohol or have soft drinks.  I don’t know if you can modify that plan to suit your situation? 

Post # 11
Member
4381 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

We’re not having any alcohol other than beer, wine, and sangria. Hopefully not having straight alcohol will help. Also hopefully the yummy food and dancing will help, but you never know…

Post # 12
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Let the bartenders know, along with their pictures. But keep in mind that if the bartenders don’t allow them to drink after a certain point, there are people who are so desperate for alcohol that they will have other people get drinks for them. In which case, you need to warn your guests somehow to not cave in to their demands.

Post # 13
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Definitely give the bar tender a heads up.  That way, he/she can make really weak drinks, or even with no alcolhol… I’m guessing there’s a point where you can’t tell if the alcohol is in it anyways…?  I don’t drink much so I don’t know.  

Post # 14
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

@ EngineerBride, yes after awhile, you don’t even notice that there is alcohol in a drink. Some drinks, you can’t even tell that there is alcohol in them to begin with but you certainly feel it several drinks later.

Post # 15
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would offer a few staple drinks or some signature drinks and wine and beer.  I would also end the bar an hour before the wedding is over and have the dj encourage the people at various times to not drink and drive!

Or you could do as they did at one wedding I went to.  When you went to the reception, they gave you a ticket shaped envelope like it’s a carnival or event and it was printed up very creatively!  Inside the ticket shaped envelope was 3 smaller tickets and those were for the drinks.  Each guest got 3 and no more.  Lemonade, tea, and soft drinks were “zero ticket” items and you could have as much as you wanted.

Post # 16
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I really like Belle’s idea of closing the bar an hour before the reception ends.

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