(Closed) Keeping it a secret

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I don’t drink, so that wasn’t an issue for me. If I did, I’d probably lie and say I was on a diet or something and cutting out alcohol. If you’re out, you could always go to the bar alone and order a virgin drink. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with lying, it’s really not their business anyway unless you want it to be.

I think the other problem I had was going out to dinner with people. The smells would always make me want to puke, so that was hard to do. I get migraines often so they weren’t surprised if I just cancelled b/c I wasn’t feeling well.

Post # 4
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

go to the bar by yourself and order a virgin drink. if you’re mostly drinking at someone’s house, say you’re going on a diet and cutting back on alcohol

i had a friend who kept canceling on us for 2 months because she wasn’t feeling well or had appointments…honestly none of us suspected she was pregnant! it was a big surprise when she told us.

Post # 5
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think it’s none of anyone’s business no matter how close of friends you are.

I did end up skipping a girls night that was basically a wine tasting for charity because I knew it would be really obvious. Mostly I could avoid drinking by just saying I wasn’t feeling well or that I had to do something the next day.

If you’re worried about keeping it a secret during a dinner out perhaps excuse yourself for the restroom and order a virgin drink from your server so you don’t have to do it in front of everyone.

Post # 6
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park

I vote the diet excuse. Or your doctor told you your blood sugar was too high, and you need to cut out the alcohol. Whatever you like. I can understand wanting to keep it a secret, but simply not feeling like drinking wasn’t an excuse for the people we socialize with. I’ve chosen to pretty much stop completely, because they try to force me to drink even now that they know I’m pregnant, saying one glass won’t hurt. It’s very frustrating. So, I’d come up with some sort of health issue until you’re ready to spill the beans. Nobody’s going to try to force a glass on you if you say it’ll give you a heart attack!

Post # 7
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2007

I’d straight up lie. It’s no one else’s business.

They should be understanding and forgiving when the truth comes out down the road and respect that your wish was to keep the process private.

I had been sharing the details of charting and my struggles with a wonky cycle with one friend I was confiding in. When we did finally get pregnant I lied for a couple weeks until I was ready to tell. Like you said had I just stopped talking she would have known. Plus she point blank asked me if I’d gotten my period yet. Which was a fine question for her to ask considering we talked so much about my cycle length etc 🙂

Now the situation is reversed. And I know she’ll lie to me at some point. And I told her that was just fine 🙂

Post # 8
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

you can drink cranberry juice and a little water in a coaktail glass, club soda with lemon or lime, non alcohol margaritas?

xpanx at begening of pregnancy, it even help you to look in good shape

work out (ligher than before, but it is a good thing to do it)



Post # 9
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

@Naiexoxo:  The mocktails to look like cocktails don’t work.  One of my husband’s friends (a guy) called me out on that one fast.  And he’s a guy.  I’ve just declined invites and said it’s due to work, or flu or something else.  Sucks for the first few months but it’s worth it.  We also didn’t share with more than 2 close friends that we were TTC and one is only a few weeks ahead of me, which is just so great.  The other friend only asked once if we were still trying and then dropped it.  

Post # 10
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I used a bunch of excuses for not drinking. 

°I don’t want to spend all that money on a cab home, I’ll just drive.


°Working tomorrow

°Helping my mother clean early tomorrow morning


At a party once I had a glass of red wine in my hand the whole night. I just poured a little bit in the sink when nobody was looking and then topped it up when the glass was empty.

Post # 11
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

This is going to be a problem for me as well, so I have started (over the past few months) purposefully not drinking and just saying things like “I don’t feel like it tonight” so that it is not as unusual when I really can’t drink. We aren’t even TTC but this way it won’t be as big of a deal (maybe?) when we are. Also, some some pp’s said, either get a virgin drink, or carry a glass of something around with you and either have your hubby have some sips, pour some in the sink, or take it with you to pee and pour some down the toilet each time 🙂

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