- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013 - Rock Hill Country Club, Manorville NY
I always knew that when I got married I would have my sister as my Matron of Honor and my best friend for literally, my entire life, as my Maid of Honor.
Since getting engaged, my sister who lives on the other side of the country has been amazing. So supportive and enthusiastic. Calling me with ideas constantly. I love it!
As far as my best friend goes, this is the back story. 7 years ago she started dating a really great guy. 4 years into the relationship they had a happy accident, and she got pregnant (she was 24). They couldn’t afford to do it on their own, and raised their daughter in my bf’s parents house. Three years into it, there was too much tension, a lot of fighting and resentment. She broke things off in March. A month later she was already dating another guy. He is from her past (they “dated” when she was 14, he’s much older). It was a bad time in her life. He’s plain and simple not a good guy. Got into some opiates, got a much younger girl pregnant twice, so he has two sons of his own. He’s negative, cynical, mean spirited and rude. You know how your SO probably brings out the best in you? He brings out the worst in her. After meeting him for the first time since high school, she asked me what I thought of him, and I very nicely laid it out there for her. She said she valued my opinion and wanted the truth, so I gave it to her in the nicest way possible.
Well, since getting engaged, and asking her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor she has had zero involvement. She is so consumed with herself that a minute into a conversation about the wedding, she changes the topic to her and this new guy. She’s lost a lot of the maturity she gaine over the years and has been rude and selfish. I can’t believe that I am regretting asking her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I wouldn’t dream of taking asking her to step down or anything, and as her best friend I am prepared to support her happiness and be there for her through thick and thin, but I am just so hurt. To add to it, she recently came up to visit me (we are 3 hours apart now). We threw an engagement party, and I was looking forward to introducing her to my family and friends up here. She brought this new guy, and the entire party they disappeared to the private hammock on my lawn. How mature is this?
As the title implies, it’s been keeping me up at night because I see her making such a big mistake. I can get over her lack of involvement and enthusiasm about my wedding. Another hurdle I am going to have to get over is having to invite this slime ball to my wedding, and knowing that we are paying for him to be there. What I can’t stand any longer is watching her take so many steps backwards. I am really hoping this is temporary, but they are already moving in together in 2 weeks. I just hate seeing somebody I love and care about make such a big mistake…
Bees, how would you handle this? Am I caring too much or butting in? I just hate this…