(Closed) Keeping Money for Wedding Secret from Fiance

posted 8 years ago in Money
  • poll: Keep the money a secret?

    No, you've got to tell him! Secrets, secrets hurt someone.

    Keep it a secret forever, or at least until the wedding is all paid up

    Tell him about the money once saving has gotten easier

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1991 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I think it would be a good idea to just mention it, but also remind your Fiance that you dad is unreliable, and that you don’t want to depend on it.

    Post # 18
    Member
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I’m surprised no one has mentioned this. If your father has a habit of making promises he can’t keep and has problems with money, why would you accept to begin with? My father is the same way and I have learned to just refuse any kind of financial help from him, even if I need it. Spares me the disappointment, spares him the embarrassment.

    Post # 19
    Member
    7308 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I seriously cannot believe that people in committed relationships even consider lying to their partner about finances. Dishonesty about money is a huge source of conflict. I would not intentionally deceive Mr. LK just to save him potential disappointment. He would be far more disappointed in me for lying to him in the first place (as he should be).

    And quite honestly, if you are both bad at spending, that is an issue you should tackle together. Read some stuff by Dave Ramsey and come up with a plan to live below your means. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    738 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Lying, even by omission, is poisonous in a relationship. Do not do it! 

    If your dad is unreliable, than that is his problem! Not yours! Lying to protect your Fiance is not ok. If your father lets you down, then he lets you down, but to hide the offer and potentially the money from your Fiance… well, then it becomes your problem. 

    Talk to your Fiance and tell him about your dad’s proposition. Tell him you’re skeptical, and discuss ways between the two of you to manage the money. Suggest putting it in a different account, one that the both of you are less likely to access. 

    There are other solutions! Lying is definitely not a solution. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    581 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I would just mention that your dad was planning to contribute on and off until the wedding, but you weren’t sure how much it would be. All true.

    The topic ‘Keeping Money for Wedding Secret from Fiance’ is closed to new replies.

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