- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
I’ve decided not to change my name after the wedding but the decision makes me feel a little like I’ll be missing out (or rejecting what’s important to FI).
Fiance understands but is a little disappointed because his name is special to him, and he’d like to share it with me. I think this is really sweet. He also likes the ‘family unit’ idea of us and any potential children all having the same name. Then there’s the whole ‘new beginning’ feeling to changing names, which is a little bit appealing (but also terrifying) to me. And it’s a tradition that the majority of women seem to follow. None of my friends and noone in my family has kept their own name before.
Despite all of the above, there is no practical reason for me to change my name. I use my name professionally. I’ve lived with my name for 30 years and it is a big part of my identity. Fiance isn’t expected to change his name. If I ever had a daughter, I don’t think I could justify it to her as a woman who believes in equality. And if I had sons, I wouldn’t like them to expect their fiances to do it.
Before anyone suggests it, my name is a bit awkward to pronounce anyway, so moving surname to middle name is not an option for me. And hyphenating won’t work well, either.
So… having made a decision that everyone I know seems to question, I’d like to hear from bees who *gasp* 🙂 kept their own names. How long ago did you do it and are you glad that you did? Do you still feel like you have to justify or explain your decision to people? Do you feel any regret?