- 10 years ago
- Wedding: May 2010
DH and I bought our first home in August. Prior to that we had lived in apartments or with our families. We lived together for just about a year in his apartment before moving into our home. In our apartment, we didn’t like it, and everything was very survivor/bare essentials. I never even fully unpacked. DH can do well on his own, but isn’t very neat or clean. I was the first person he’s lived with since he left home. He grew up on a dairy farm and since he, his brother and father worked so hard all day long, his mom did everything for them. She picks up their clothes, does their laundry, brings food to them, basically waits on them hand and foot. And I get it, since it’s normal for many families in farming.
DH and I talked about what it would be like living in our home, and how since it was our space we’d do a lot more taking care of things, keeping it clean, etc… But the reality is that it’s not happening. We have a tiny kitchen with no dishwasher and it feels like I am ALWAYS doing dishes and am never done. Also DH and I are both kind of messy when it comes to putting clothes away. We both tend to build up piles and deal with them once every week or two.
I’m pregnant and am terrified that we are going to be living in a messy house FOREVER. I want things to be neat and clean, but it feels like I am always the one doing things and he doesn’t pick up after himself. He’s much better than his brother, but I can’t help wishing he was better. I know I need to get better at it too. What makes it harder is that almost every weekend we are at his parents. That takes away free time to actually do the cleaning/organizing/tidying that we need to get done. And it also gives him 48 hours every week where he reverts back to his mom waiting on him hand and foot.
I need help coming up with a plan to keep ourselves on top of the household chores, and able to cross a few things off our to do list, like moving our computer area, organizing mail, and organizing our basement. What works for you? Has anyone else had issues similar to this? I know that I need to work on myself more than anything. I just feel so tired at the end of the day, and the last thing I want to do is spend all night doing dishes and cleaning. I love DH and don’t want to fight about this every 3-4 weeks. I also want to get good habits going now, so that once the baby comes, we can be as clean and organized as possible. I don’t even want to know how outta control I’m going to be about this once I get into super-nesting mode closer to the end of my pregnancy. Any help?