(Closed) Keeping out of state family members involved

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I delegated a specific task to my mom (the out-of-town bags). It wasn’t too overwhelming for DIY, but she still got to be creative and own a part of the wedding. Maybe you could think of something like this that they could all do together? I also run most ideas by my mom so that she can feel like she knows what’s going on and can add input, which she likes, even if it’s not a hands-on experience for her.

For my Future In-Laws, they’re not in the same town as me or the wedding, so they aren’t involved in any of the planning (they’re also not involved in any of the paying, so I didn’t think it was really appropriate to involve them).

Good luck! It’s hard when people want to get involved and there’s not really anything for them to do.

Post # 4
37 posts
  • Wedding: October 2009

I am an Aussie getting married in the USA and all of my family are back home in Australia, so keeping them feeling involved has been interesting to say the least.  I do want them involved so we are all working together to find ways to make it feel like a family event.  I send my mother regular emails with updated photos of things I have bought, venues I’ve looked at, inspirational things I’ve seen online.

I got my Future Mother-In-Law to take photos of me in any dresses I try on to send back home to get my mothers opinion (which is usually "which ever dress you like dear").  When I was trying to decide if I should get the dress shortened or not, I emailled pics to my SIL,r my neice and mother spent an hour over coffee arguing the pro’s and cons before letting me know what they thought. 

My mother and nephew went out and collected gum tree nuts for the centrepieces. Mum is arranging the shipment of vegimite packets and tim tams to put in with the favours so all the Yanks on my  can get a taste of things from my home.

I have not seen my family in over a year, and only my mother is able to come over for the wedding (my brother is paying for her flight as a wedding present for me), but my SIL (who is like a sister to me) had the final casting vote on the shoes I wear, my neice and I  picked the colour of my dress over the phone looking at pictures together.    My nephew at 7 is helping make decorations (which are costing more to post than make but thats another story ).  

You say that you put up the information on you website, maybe that feels a little less personal and involved to them than you writing an email or letter to them with the pictures (even the same pics as on your blog) or even actual samples with a nice chatty letter, asking opinons. 

Maybe send lots of pics of projects you are working on etc, even if you just snap a quick picture with you phone and send it off with a quick message.   From what my mother said, it wasn’t the planning she felt she was missing out on it was the excitment that goes with it, being involved in my happiness.  

Oh and ask opinions of everyone, you don’t have to listen to them , I found once I starting asking their opninons my family all felt more involved. But then I have a very opinionated family. 







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