(Closed) Keeping quiet during “timeline”

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

well now you know he’s going to do it, and you’re going to love the ring, so I would find another friend or use these boards to chitchat and gush and do everything in my power not to mention wedding stuff to your SO.   maybe get some secret wedding magazines or start making the computer folder and inspiration boards to keep yourself excited/busy? hahaha

Post # 4
Member
219 posts
Helper bee

I am definitely in the same situation except I decided to stop talking in fear that he will get so annoyed of it and not ask me to marry him, hahahaha.

I had started talking to my friends about it but they began to think I was some crazy lady since I wasn’t even engaged yet, so now I talk to my fellow bees.. I just came here and I already love it, so many people I relate to and can talk about anything!

So as for what can help, you’re doing it right now! Talk to us about anything you want, I would be happy to hear anything you have to say about weddings/venting.

SOO.. what does the ring you want look like? πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

That’s rough. I mean, it’s one thing to go for a few months and not mention a word but to purposefully go for 6 months? Well, maybe since he’s promised to do it and you’re getting the ring you want, maybe it will be easier. Definitely jump on here to vent. But when it pops into my head, I verbally change the subject. If I hear something about someone else’s wedding or ring, I focus the conversation on solely them then nicely move away from that topic. It’s amazing how quickly I forget my thought of when he will marry me once I concentrate on talking about something else. Maybe this will help? Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Its hard not to talk to your SO about it, but keep cool! I definitely recommend finding another place to express/vent your feelings (like here!) I really wish I would’ve kept my mouth shut in the time leading up to the proposal..but oh well. 

Post # 7
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee

I had a VERY hard time keeping my cool once I knew a ring was in the works, and after that I only had 3 months to wait.  I feel for you having to go thru it for 6!!! With spring and summer on it’s way, maybe it won’t be toooo bad.  You KNOW it’s coming, so yea, come be a crazy bee here!!  If you CAN keep it in until the proposal, you have MY nomination for queen bee hehe  πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I was confused when I read this posting because I never stopped to consider that couples would discuss getting a ring. I feel so naive on this site. My proposal was a surprise and I suppose I thought that it was just how everyone gets engaged. The commercials and movies are always a surprise where the lady turns and the man is on one knee haha. That is very interesting. It’s nice to plan things together especially if you don’t like surprises!

Post # 9
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee

@joeandangela: Sure, some of us could wait for the big surprise and wait til we are grey and our eggs are all dried up…haha  You’re a lucky one…. not all of us have men who think like yours πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

Congrats and Good Luck…..

Oh how I WISH I was in this situation of having a timeline I could deal with. Yet I don’t. Therefore it’s hard for me to keep quiet. He doesn’t understand by at least giving me a leg to stand on we would both be happy. I wouldn’t pressure him or talk about it giving him time to plan his oh so wanted perfect/surprise proposal and I will know we will be engaged within a reasonable amount of time. Win-Win if you ask me.

If I were you I would definitely keep quiet. It seems like you’re ok with getting engaged between now – September so just try to hold your tongue. Easier said than done I know. But vent and rant to us if you need to.

Post # 12
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Nikkiinmass I don’t know about that. I asked him what if I had said no? He said he never really thought about that. haha. I think it is good to be sure that you are both wanting the same things. Missbennet that sounds fun that he has something up his sleeve for you.

Post # 13
Member
384 posts
Helper bee

Congrats on knowing it’s going to happen !! 

I wonder – why do they not like talking about it?  My SO is the same way…..I don’t get it.

 

Post # 15
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

Somewhat similar situation here, except yours is a much earlier timeline. =) We’re aiming for Sept of NEXT year. I love talking about it too. It makes me happy to think of a future of us together. My SO will talk about it with me when I push for details but its not his most favorite topic so I’m trying to keep it down. Right now, I’ve decided to just enjoy the ‘waiting’ time. I figure I have the rest of my life to be married to this person, I’m going to enjoy dating him as much as I can for now.

Post # 16
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i agree, it is soooo hard, especially not being able to say anything for 6 months! i can mention it, sometimes SO does, but the last time i got so into wedding stuff and talked about it too much he (not surprisingly) freaked out. but it all started because HE started talking about it again! now every few nights or so he will make mention of my future rock but i am careful to keep my thoughts to myself…even if i am over on my laptop gazing at hundreds of wedding cakes πŸ™‚

he knows how picky i am about things though and i think has a good idea of what i want, but i told him i am going to have to “design” the ring with the jeweler. he seemed disappointed and said i will know everything and i said, “no, we go to him next time we go home (back to my hometown) and i show him pictures and we draw something up. i will know what it looks like but i won’t have any idea when you get it, or when i’ll get it.” and i knew he wouldn’t complain because if he is spending that much money on something for me, he wants it to be exactly what i want.

but i do have to stifle things i want to say sometimes though. i just know what happened in the past and make sure there are plenty of days that go by and i say zero about anything having to do with wedding/engagement! hang in there, this board has been great for me for support!

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