Post # 1
Member
41 posts
Newbee
Short backstory – I grew up VERY reform. My Fiance grew up reform as well, but with more knowledge of Jewish faith, history, traditions, etc. However, we are both clueless when it comes to specifics about Jewish weddings. We are having a Jewish ceremony (most of our friends have done this so we are familiar with the ceremony requirements), but may have his uncle officiate since neither of us have a Rabbi that know. (I also get nervous and would prefer to have a familiar loving face up there with us during our special day) His uncle, though not a Rabbi, is EXTREMELY learned in the Jewish traditions and is really the leader of the family when it comes to High Holy days (leading the sedar etc). He’s an integral part of his temple as well.
I know the Jewish tradition does not require a Rabbi to officiate a wedding ceremony; however, can you have a Ketubah signing without a Rabbi?? Help me Jewish Bees!
Post # 3
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
I’m Jewish but reform and not particularly traditional. We had a rabbi do our ceremony and sign our Ketubah, but to be honest, I’m not really sure what difference it would make in the long run.
Our Ketubah is now framed and hangs on our wall and is a beautiful decoration, but other than that, it has no real purpose. It’s not like the “Jewish Police” are going to show up at our house and investigate the signatures and take away our marriage license or anything.
So I guess the question you have to ask yourself is “what is important to you in terms of the religious aspects of the Ketubah?”
Post # 4
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
Funny story: we did not have the website pre-fill in our hebrew information before the ceremony. When our rabbi saw it wasn’t filled in, he said that we would have to get a Jewish calligrapher to fill it in after our ceremony because he had awful hebrew handwriting and didn’t want to mess it up.
We found a calligrapher, and she made a big deal out of the fact that there wasn’t enough room to write our full hebrew names, dates, locations…etc in the space provided.
My Darling Husband just looked at her and said “Listen Lady, we can’t read hebrew. We just want something written in there so it looks official. Write the alphabet for all we care.”
She looked horrified, but managed to make it work 🙂
Post # 5
Member
41 posts
Newbee
@ExcitedScaredBee: haha I like your perspective! I really value family over everything, so that’s why I thought it would be great to have his Uncle do everything that the Rabbi would do. He’s fluent in Hebrew, knows the traditions, etc, but he’s family so it makes it that much more special. I guess you’re right in that case – the Ketubah would mean that much more because it’s representative of our Jewish marraige AND presided over by family. Let’s just hope the “Jewish Police” don’t catch on to this board =p
Post # 6
Member
41 posts
Newbee
@ExcitedScaredBee: HAHA! That’s amazing and basically how I would feel. We don’t know hebrew so we just have to trust that it’s all really saying what it says =)
Post # 7
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
@tinyteapot: All you really need on the ketubah is the signature of two witnesses that are not related to either of you…. don’t really needed the officiant’s name if you don’t want.
Post # 8
Member
41 posts
Newbee
Post # 9
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
Traditionally, the ketubah is not signed by the rabbi or by the couple. Instead, it is signed only by two Jewish males unrelated to the couple, who serve as witnesses. So that really shouldn’t be an issue.
Do make sure that the uncle has the right to officate under secular law, though. While rabbis and cantors are able to officiate ceremonies in any state, state law varies widely in who else can legally officiate.
Post # 10
Member
9290 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
@tinyteapot:
we are going through our sessions with the rabbi now getting ready for our wedding. she has stressed to us that today the ketubbah is merely sybmloic. what shows you being married in the united states is your civil license. if your uncle has the power to marry you, then he has the power to sign for you.
Post # 11
Member
41 posts
Newbee
Thank you everyone!
@ajillity81: It’s great to hear that from a rabbi. Not that we’re very religious, but for some reason it makes me feel better! 🙂
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