(Closed) Kicking out a bridesmaid – what to do?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
6865 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

She said her boss didn’t write her leave request down. Do you not believe her on that? If you believe her, thenk kicking her out of your bridal party is absolutely the wrong thing to do. Everyone has their “thing”: some people are too noisy, some are always late, your friend Jill sounds like a flake for sure but she doesn’t sound like a mean -spirited person or someone who is trying to hurt you intentionally. No big whoop if she misses the bachelorette. Might be best in the long run if you reset your expectations and keep her in your bridal party and your life. Everyone has that one unreliable friend who you never ask to drive you to the airport or buy tickets for, because you know you risk missing your flight or eating the ticket cost. Jill is yours. Can you still love her in spite of her flaws? If so, then kicking her out of the wedding is going to ruin that.

Post # 3
45536 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sh’e always been like this. You knew what she was like before you asked her to be a BM.

Did you think that your wedding would change her nature completely?

Post # 4
2685 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It sucks that your friend is a flake, but like PP said, if she was like this before it’s unreasonable to expect her to change just because you are getting married.  I would not kick her out over missing your bachelorette party.  It sucks for sure, but it’s *just* a party and not a requirement for being a BM.

Keep in mind that kicking someone out from your bridal party is a friendship-ending move.  So unless you want to completely remove her from your live, I wouldn’t do it.  People know there is a big deal between flaking on a bachelorette and flaking on a wedding, so I wouldn’t worry about it.  And what if she’d did?  Yes, you’d be disappointed, but it wouldn’t ruin your wedding.


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