Post # 1
I love my fiance and his family. What I dont love is his two nephews behavior and am scared how much they will interrupt our big day. At ages 5 and 10 it’s sad I have to say I dont expect them to act appropriately. The more attention they get for their behavior the funnier they think it is and get louder.
I would easily make it a no kids wedding but have one child (13 and very well behaved) who I want going, no exception. I know this is a super touchy subject and i dont want to rock the boat but what should i do? Do i stand my ground and ask that they do not come and guarantee a less stressful wedding day or do I take a chance on having one of our biggest days ruined.
Post # 2
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
I wanted a child free wedding, so I stated the rule was no children under the age of 10. Usually around the age of 10+ kids know how to behave. We made 2 exceptions for close family and that was it (They were travelling from far away and I thought it would be rude and unfair to exclude them).
However – we then had another guest, of which we invited her husband and all her adult children + their spouses (a literal entire table of people) call my Future Mother-In-Law is screaming that we didn’t invite her precious granddaughter and blackmail us into including her.
If I were you – I would just say no kids. That you are having a kid free wedding because to me, a 13 year old is not a child. They are about to go to highschool, so they are a young adult. However, the liklihood is, that you will recieve a lot of backlash for this, especially from the parents and they may threaten not to come to get you to invite the kids. So decide before you make the call how you would handle that situation. If you will cave, just invite them and avoid the hassle. If you are OK with them not attending sicne they cant bring the kiddos – do it!!
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2019 - City, State
It’s your fiance’s family and therefore his problem. Make it clear what you want and are concerned about and let him do the problem solving and deal with his family and their backlash.
Post # 4
13+ only. She’s a teenager and your daughter, she knows how to behave. Excluding her will have consequences. The nephews sound awful.
Post # 5
When people don’t discipline their children they should expect them to be unwelcome at social activities. I would just flat out tell the parents you don’t want them there because of their behavior.
Post # 6
Out of all the “my wedding was ruined” pots that I have read on here, none of them involved children – it’s all been terribly behaved adults. You’re not obligated to invite your soon-to-be nephews but if your Fiance is from a close-knit family, expect there to be backlash. It’s very typical to see no children weddings with exceptions for nephews and nieces – so your brother/sister in-law could definitely view this as a norm and be offended. Also, my son is definitely not a bring out in public child, we parent him (and aren’t terrible at it), he just has a lot of energy and likes to explore – knowing his limitations, I typically avoid bringing him to non-child proofed places and large events. Perhaps the parents are like me and are already planning to leave them at home. Have you asked your Fiance to investigate a little?
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2025 - City, State
What does their uncle think about having them at his wedding?
Post # 8
I’m not sure from your post whether the 13-year old is your child? If they are, I don’t think any explanation is needed about why they were invited but not your nephews. If they aren’t your child, I think you can still phrase it as a child-free wedding but say that teenagers are invited.
What does your FH think about excluding his nephews?
Post # 9
What do the parents do when they misbehave? I would just say 13+. Remember, it’s YOUR wedding!
Post # 10
1*. I would expect you to have your own child there regardless of rules.
2. 13 is really more young adult anyway than child territory.
3. Your wedding your rules, so if you and your fiance are cool with keeping the kids out, go for it!
*Can’t tell if the kid is yours.
Post # 11
Honestly can you just give the 13 year old a role in the wedding? Junior bridesmaid? Program passer-outer? That way you can say “only children with a role in the wedding”. If you say 13+ every other person with a kid over 13 is going to want to bring them.
At the end of the day have the wedding you want. I had a kid-free wedd with the exception of my of my MOH’s two children who were the Flower Girl and RB. They were around 7 & 6 at the time of the wedding. I didn’t care who was offended. In my childhood I was excluded from many a wedding, including those of my family, because they too had no kids. It’s not the end of the world.