- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
Sorry this may be a long post.
Back story- original venue charged us $110 per person including children. We agonized because FI’s sister-in-law is over protective about her children and would cause a huge scene if they weren’t invited. (She causes huge scenes over a lot of trivial things.) She doesn’t allow other people to watch her kids (they are 3, 5, 7 year olds.)
We moved the venue due to other reasons. Caterer provides kid menus, but new venue is a marina and VERY UNSAFE for kids. However, we thought that maybe this would be easier on the wallet and the 3 kids may be okay.
We have told our other guests that they are not able to bring children. For my cousins we told them my mom would find a babysitter for them (she’s a teacher so she knows a lot of great sitters) and they could stay at my grandmother’s house. We told them not to worry about a gift- spend the money on the sitter instead. We told my step sister she can’t bring her baby and my dad’s nephews they can’t bring their kids. Our friends with kids were very happy to leave them at home with grandparents for the weekend.
Now, back when we had the old venue Fiance would not raise the issue with his brother of getting a sitter. He sent an e-mail asking about the kids and the response was, “Oh they’ll be fine- just hire a magician or something.”
Fast forward a few months later…
We dropped the subject of them not bringing their kids, because I didn’t want a fight or any drama. (SIL is already remarking that she doesn’t like the shoes the groomsmen are wearing.)
However, I was on the phone with my mom yesterday and my dad heard the mention the 3 kids were coming a flipped out. I really mean flipped out- screaming at me saying it wasn’t fair to everyone else, how dare we not tell him (we did tell him, but he must have not been listening) and how was I supposed to explain this to those who weren’t allowed to bring their kids. He then went on to say if she brought her kids he would tell her exactly what he thought of her, yell at her and make her so miserable she will leave the wedding. (Yes, my dad is the queen of overreacting.)I told him this would make poor FI’s life miserable- and cause a lot of drama.
Here’s the dilemma- I agree with my dad, but I don’t like being screamed at and threatened so it makes me want to go against him. I think it’s unreasonable of her to think she can always get her way and that her children can do whatever she wants. They aren’t infants, my mom can easily find 2 great sitters, my house is 3 miles down the road from the venue and it’s not fair to those who have to find a sitter. Our wedding is from 2-8 so it’s not late… but Fiance doesn’t want to say anything to them. (We should have right from the start.) Also, my mom and dad are paying for the whole wedding (thanks mom and dad!).
I wish I could say that everything can be discussed calmly and rationally, but that will never happen with either side. I was not stressed at all, until yesterday. (And I probably looked like a mad woman in the frozen foods section at Target as I was yelled at with tears welling up in my eyes.)
What would you do? The wedding is in 24 days and I need help now! Thanks bees!