(Closed) Kids .

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’d say no – kids at a wedding are really an all or nothing deal (with the exception of those in the wedding party, like flower girls and ring bearers).

Post # 4
46672 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You certainly can just invite the Out of Town kids. It is perfectly understandable that those parents are the ones who would have more trouble getting a sitter. Or, just trouble letting the kids stay with a sitter they don’t know, even if they are from a licensed agency.

The parents who live locally will have plenty of notice to line up child care. Except for maybe nursing infants, there is no need to have localchildren at your wedding if you choose not to invite them.


Post # 5
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

if it’s very important to you that your out of town guests come to your wedding, then yes, i think it would be ok to include their kids to make it easier for them to attend.

i didn’t include out of town kids, but that was because we had already made an exception for my husbands nieces and nephews. i was really disappointed that some guests couldn’t come because of the no-kid rule, but if i had allowed out of towners to bring their kids too, there would have been waaay to many kids there for my liking. i was trying to keep the kid count as low as possible.

but you are probably going to have people upset/annoyed that other kids were invited when theirs weren’t. but whatever. it’s your day, so you get to make the rules (within reason, haha).


Post # 6
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My vote is always no kids. 

Post # 7
5543 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

As one of the crowd who doesn’t understand the freak out about.kids a wedding, I think your local guests might be annoyed if they paid for sitters and things only to discover it wasn’t NO kids but just not their kids. That’s just me.  

Post # 8
1598 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think you should invite whoever you want in this case.

Some people say “all or none” when it comes to kids, but I am not abiding by that at all.

Some kids I know well — they will be invited to the wedding.

But I have some relatives with kids I’ve never met and they will NOT be invited. Example: I have a cousin who lives 800 miles away and I’ve met three times in my life. He has 6 kids with, like, 3 different women. I don’t know any of the kids’ names or ages so they are not getting invited. Their dad (my cousin) will get an invite with a “plus 1” but that’s it. 

Another example: another cousin who I see, like, once every three years got married to a man 20 years older than her. She has a daughter of her own and her new husband has, like, 5 kids from a previous marriage who I’ve never met. Again, don’t know their names, ages, nothing. I will invite my cousin and her husband, but not their gaggle of children.

However, friends and close family who have kids I know and talk to WILL be invited.

Maybe not proper etiquette, but oh well. My wedding, my money, my choice.

This is one day when you can break the rules, so do whatever you feel is appropriate/whatever you’re comfortable with!
















Post # 9
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Stace126:  when my husband gave me his guest list, he included a lot more kids than just his nieces and nephews. and he didn’t know the names of most of them. he’d put like, “john and mary, little boy, and little girl” i was like, “if you don’t even know their names, they’re not important enough to be invited” lol

Post # 10
11422 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

We invited all of our nieces and nephews (and the children of my two matrons of honor — kids who consider me to be their aunt and whom I consider to be my nieces and nephews) as well as the minor children of my first cousins.  All but one child (one of my junior bridesmaids) were from Out of Town. 

We did not invite any other children.

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