Post # 1
So – we’ve been debating the whole “Adults Only” wedding. I got lost in the other thread going on right now about why people get offended by this. So, I guess maybe this is a spin off question from that. I’ll tell you up front my reasons for not wanting kids are 1) behavior and 2) the cost.
So- my question is What should be the age cut off? Initially we thought no one under the age of 18. But then I realized my own brother is 17. haha I have about 25 cousins all under the age of 18. Range from new borns to 17.
I really don’t want to have small children there that will be crying or running around uncontrollably or screaming or not eating the $85 meal I paid for them. So, whats an appropriate age to cut off at? 10? 15? Is this something people do? Or should I suck it up and invite all the kids?
Post # 3
I’d pick an age that both makes sense and doesn’t split up families. (Like don’t pick 10 if one family has a 12 and an 8 year old).
Post # 4
Depending on the situation, as @Pinkmoon: has said. But I would say around the 12 mark… that is the age they start paying as adults at restuarants and things like that so it’s just a common cut-off age.
Post # 5
I would say no kids under age 18, with the exception of immediate family (your brother)
Post # 6
Kids under 12 were half price and the majority of the venues we looked at, so that’s always a plus.
I would have preferred 21 and up for my wedding. After that perhaps 18 & up.
Post # 7
If thats about paying $85 per plate, check with your caterer on age. Some offer free under the age of ## (whatever age). Mine, in particular, does, which is 7 and under are free.
Post # 8
for me, the age cut off is 16. i have a nephew who i know would party it up and have a good time with family without being weird about it. but i think you have to know the kid. like if it’s your brother, that’s an exception.
Post # 9
We had at least 10kids at our wedding. Their plates were a 1/3 of the adults. Did you ask your venue for a deal? or maybe the could work with you.
I would think the Out of Town people and close family should be able to bring kids. I don’t know if you’re having work people come, for example, they shoudln’t bring their kids.
Post # 10
12 and under is what I’d say. I lucked out because of all of the people we invited, there were only 5 kids 12 and under, and 3 of them aren’t coming.
12 is a reasonable age for kids to understand how to behave maturely at a wedding. As you go further down in age, you are running the risks that you’re going to have more temper tantrums to deal with (let’s face it…weddings can be seriously boring, and it gets even more boring for young kids).
Letting close family bring their kids is reasonable.
My venue considers children ages 4 and under free – so long as we meet the minimum person requirements (70). If we have fewer than 70, we get charged for each child.
Still, in my experiences, people let their kids run WILD at weddings. They kind of treat it like, “Everyone else is around and watching, we’ll just have fun.” Mom’s sitting back popping shots while Junior rips off tablecloths and tries to steal a drink of someone’s whiskey. Everyone else at the wedding should not become de facto baby-sitters to your guest’s children. Parents often don’t get to fully enjoy themselves when they bring kids (or they do while their terrors run wild).
Unless there are extenuating circumstances – i.e., close family from out of town and no prospective baby-sitters – I really don’t feel that inviting kids is necessary. It ramps up stress, the kids are bored anyways, and it can quickly double your total venue budget.
Post # 11
totally up to you and your comfort level. i 1) dislike children (GASP), 2) didn’t want any screaming and crying during the ceremony/running around on the dance floor, and 3) only have two small children that I could even possibly fathom might show up. Our cutoff was 10 – my youngest cousin is 14, and the two very young children will be 2 by the wedding, so it was an easy decision.
Post # 12
@sarg88: Kind of depends of the ages of everyone. We didn’t have a cut off really but the youngest that was invited was 13. Then there was a huge gap until the next set of kids which were ALL friend’s kids who were toddlers and such. Except for one 8 year old. We didn’t invite any of the friend’s kids, only family members. Depending on ages and relationships in your famliy you might not have as clear a cut off as we did so it might make the decision more difficult? You can’t really include 20 of your 25 cousins because 20 of them are over 13, etc… At that point you’d have to just go with all 25. Tough call!
Post # 13
We’re huge kid people and we have 2 ring bearers, 1 flower girl, 2 junior bridesmaids, and 1 junior groomsman so kids are already involved, ages 4-13. We talked to our reception venue what they could do about kid’s prices.
We are paying $90 a head for adults but only $19.99 for kids and they will be served a more kid friendly meal, like mac-n-cheese, chicken fingers, etc. Just something you might want to discuss with your venue.
Saying that we aren’t inviting babies or toddlers, not involved in the wedding. The youngest is probably 8.
Post # 14
My youngest will be… three, I believe. The oldest under 18 will be my 17 year old sister/MOH. He has too many younger siblings to really have an age cap. Most of the kids will be 10+.
If you don’t know too many kids, 14 is a good limit. That’s high school age. Or you could go with 16, when the girls would be interested (and reasonably mature), and the boys would most likely choose not to come.
Post # 15
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
I did mine like other PP’s said, by what made sense based on the demographics of our family. My own little brother is going to be barely 16 by the wedding (D’AWWW) and then my dad’s brothers kids will be 18 and 15, and my mom’s sisters kids are 29 and 15. I surely wasn’t going to split up the families, so I’m going with 15 lol.