(Closed) Kids Acting Out in Public

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i’m not a mom, but i remember my mom’s reaction to this when i was a kid. kids act out, there’s nothing you can do! she said that when i would have a fit in the grocery store (apparently i would just sit there, not wanting to be picked up or walk), people would give her dirty looks and one man had the nerve to say something to her. she wanted to tell him to try to deal with me. of course she didn’t just sit there and not do ANYTHING about it, but even with her doing her best to calm me down, a fit happens.

Post # 5
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I would never say anything to their faces but I know I sometimes do wonder .  I am pretty sure will be a lot less judgemental of other moms once I have kids of my own! 

One thing to keep in mind is that with the growing rise of Autism Spectrum Disorders, there are a lot of moms dealing with kids who are hard to take anywhere, and the last thing they need is us judging them or telling them how to parent.  The only time I really think it is truly annoying is in a nice restaurant – because parents should not expect little kids to behave in that environment and it just isn’t appropriate for them to be there….but grocery stores, planes, etc. – well those places aren’t really optional for a lot of parents….and kids will be kids which means throwing fits, etc. 

Post # 6
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I always try to have things to keep my sons attention so he doesn’t get bored and start acting out! At reasturants, I get him some crackers to snack on while we wait. At the store, I let him help me put stuff in the basket, or hold something. I had to open a box of cereal in the store once becuase he started to get fussy.

I wouldn’t suggest telling the kid to be quite unless the parent hasn’t done ANYTHING to try themselves. Once on a plane, my son was HORRIBLE (I felt so bad I kept apalogizing!) but it was after his bed and the altitude change hurts their ears when they are younger. I tried EVERYTHING I could think of to make him happy. I even stood in the front of the plane and bounced him around. A really sweet couple next to me offered me their Iphone so he could play with the koi fish app! they said they understood becuase they had kids. It was so nice, but had they told me to make him be quite? I would have freaked! I had tried everything I could!

But, if the parents are just letting their kids be out of control and don’t care, then I think its ok to say something!

Wow! This got long! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I don’t know. I think that in those specific instances after a significant length of time if the parent is doing nothing, it’s appropriate to talk to the stewardess or the maitre’d. This is part of their job, so they should handle it.

As for other places, fits do happen. Hopefully the parent would know to take their child out, but if they don’t and if the child isn’t being beaten, I say leave it be. I have a difficult time with public spanking though. I have a difficult time with spanking in general.

Post # 10
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m not a mom, either, but I’m really interested to see what other moms have to say about this.

My mom and my Future Mother-In-Law get REALLY upset when they see kids acting out in public, and parents don’t do anything about it. They said that when us kiddies were little, they didn’t bring us to a lot of places that were not kid friendly because they didn’t think it was right to disturb people. Like, we NEVER ate out at nice places when we were kids, and we didn’t get to go to the movies until we were old enough to know to behave (seeing babies at a move over the G rating really bother me). If we acted out, we left wherever we were imemdiately. I clearly remember situations where I was throwing a fit, and my mom put down everything at the mall and left because she didn’t think it was fair to other people to have to listen to her kids cry while she picked out new shoes. We also never flew when we were really little because they didn’t want to risk us crying (which is likely on a plane ride). We drove and took road trips everywhere until we were old enough.

I will have to admit, when I see a child acting out in public, and the parents immediately get up and leave, I breathe a sigh of relief. I know it’s not always possible to do that, and I don’t immediately blame parents when a kid starts to cry (it happens), but ignoring it while they finish shopping or eating is bothersome to me.

Post # 11
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would never feel comfortable saying something to a stranger’s kid; honestly, in those situations I usually try to avoid even looking in the kid’s direction.  I just find it easier to ignore them.  On our honeymoon flight there was a little girl sitting behind us who played with this annoying dog toy for 10 hours straight.  I just put on my headphones and watched the in-flights movie until I fell asleep.  Idk, I’m just not comfortable with that kind of confrontation, I guess.

Post # 12
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@moderndaisy: that is annoying! I think that if the parents are totally tuning their kids and aren’t trying to do anything, then its ok to say something to them. I would never take my son to a fancy restaurant either. Some places jsut aren’t kid friendly and you should find a babysitter! I have gotten up and left a restuarant before because he was throwing a fit. It sucks to have to do it, but I don’t like to be around it and its my own kid, so why would other people want to?!

Post # 14
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

@moderndaisy: Yeah, my mom always tells me now that when you have kids, you make a lot of lifestyle changes going into it, and part of that is knowing when it’s appropriate to bring your child to public places and sacrificing being able to just pop into a nice restaurant on a whim or stop at the mall whenever you want. Everything was planned when we were kids. My mom was a single mom for the majority of our childhood (sister and I), and if she had to run errands, she got a sitter for a few hours (usually the older HS girl down the street).

We spent a LOT of our childhood at friend’s houses playing, the parks and Chuck E. Cheese’s 🙂

Post # 15
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I have several friends who think that young children have no business being in places like upscale restaurants.  I personally believe that well-behaved children should be welcome anywhere.  That being said, if a parent chooses to take their child someplace and the child acts out and is disturbing other people there, it is absolutely the parent’s obligation to correct the behavior or remove the child from the environment.  I think its difficult to teach children how to act appropriately in certain circumstances, ie: upscale restaurants, unless you expose them to it.  However, as a parent, you are accountable for your child’s behavior and no one else should have to suffer bc you can’t respond to tantrums.   

Post # 16
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

@RIBride: I totally agree. My mom never kept my sister and I from nice places until we were 13 or anything, but she did wait until we were kindergarden-ish age. That’s where we started to learn how to act in “adult” situations. We we cried, she’d get the bill, wrap up her food and leave immediately. 

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