Post # 1
Ive tried to go to school a few times but never found the right program for what I love. My hobbies have long included sewing and quilting and knitting and crocheting and since I was little I want to spin my own yarn… Now I do spin and love it to death. After lots of soul searching I have realised I love fibre and fibre arts in particular working with wool and high end weaves for the outdoor industry. All this being with DHs support I am going to go back to school and get my Bachelors in textiles (still debating science or arts program options).
Down to the real issue… We want to have kids in the next few years ideally but I am not comfortable with being pregnant in a program that exposes to many chemicals which can harm an unborn child and I dont want to miss out on important classes because of it either. Should I have a child before and once Im done breastfeeding start school (DH plans on running our company from home and is willing to take full time care of our futur little one) or should I wait the possible 6 years before I start and finish school?
We only plan on having only having one child (or twins which runs in his family).
Some backround I am 22 and Darling Husband is 30 but we both want to have kids young and be active parents exposing our kids to a life full of great activities. We own our own adventure tourism company which we hope to in a few years run at arms length so we can move to a different part of the country so I can go to school and Darling Husband can work from home.
Thanks in advance for all the opinions and advice.
Post # 3
Bump… I really would like some bee advice
Post # 4
Well, for me personally I would have kids before. It could take a year to get pregnant, then 10 months before the baby gets here just for one. If you wait till after then suddenly you could be 30 before you have one, which is by no means old at all, but we are like yall and want to have kids early (around 25) and be totally done by 30 with having kids. Since your husband will be able to watch the kids anyway, and assuming you are finacially stable, I would go ahead and have them.
Post # 5
This is just my opinion…. But I would finish school before having kids. They require a lot of time and effort, and even with your husband at home with them it may not necessarily be enough. I say this, not as someone with young children, but as someone who has struggled to get through school.
Post # 6
Ultimately, this is your decision, but I would prefer to have kids before school if it’s going to be six years. It sounds like it’s important to you that you’re not too old when you have children, and if you put it off for six years, then find it takes another year or so to conceive, you could end up having it delayed by until you’re 20 and your Darling Husband would be even older.
Have you considered talking to the university you’re interested in about which classes might expose you to these chemicals? If the ‘dangerous’ classes won’t be until near the end of the course, you may be able to start both the course and having a baby at the same time – if that’s something you can handle. Failing that, maybe discuss options for deferring part way through your studies, or studying part-time, so you can do one lot of classes, then the ones involving chemicals.
I’m sorry I can’t be of too much help, but I guess it really comes down to what you two feel comfortable doing (finances are obviously something to consider too), and how flexible the course will be if you do choose to restructure some of your classes around your pregnancy. Good luck!
Post # 7
School before kids. How would you feel if you never went to school because life got in the way? Plus, you are so young!
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
I wonder if you’ll give up on going to school once there’s a little one running around. Priorities are apt to change, don’t you think?
Post # 9
@Mrs. Mink: Yeah I was trying to say something along those lines. If you can imagine not going to school due to parenting duties, and you’re ok with that possibility, then consider kids before school.
Post # 10
@LadyElva: im going to go visit one of the schools in October so I will check on that.
@Mrs. Mink: I’m a little worried about leaving school since I want kids so bad.
Darling Husband rubs my belly and we just really want a child. The school that is looking the best right now is less than 2 hours from all my family.
We will wait till next fall to TTC due to financial stability (our company is still young).
Post # 11
anything else I should be concerned about?
Post # 12
I would wait until after school. I’d be worried that a young child would put too much of my attentions away from my coursework and school would no longer really be the priority.
Post # 13
@Mrs.KMM: +1. Add to that the financial strain of paying for college plus a newborn, and for me, that would just be way too much stress.
Post # 14
SCHOOL BEFORE KIDS. Dude. I have a kid and I’m in school. If you have a choice in the matter, JUST KEEP YOUR KNICKERS ON. Lol. I’m sorry if this is harsh or blunt. But seriously. It’s no picnic having kids while going to school.
Im talkin about 1am, 2am, 3am AND THEN 4am feedings. Croup. Colic. Then an exam at 8am? Forget it.
Or, “Mama mama mama mama!” “What?!? I’m trying to do homework! Ask Daddy!” “NO! I WANT YOU.”
Dont take this as me not loving my kid, I completely do, but he’s a huge pain in the butt when I try to get homework done. It’s like he will purposefully ignore me when I’m free and then harangue me when I’m busy and they all will do that, regardless if its homework or cooking dinner or laundry etc. Those last two are fine, worst case is you put off chores or chow for a while. Try that with studying for exams and homework? Your grades will go down the toilet, along with your GPA, which affects your financial aid status and just even what you’re trying to learn.
I am not saying its impossible to have a kid and do well in school, but it takes so much more effort and work than if you are child-free.
Post # 15
@Omgbunnies: Haha this is awesome, listen to her OP!
OP, you are so young and have so much time to have kids. Go to school, get yourself stable and ready and then try for kids.
Post # 16
Lord, if you have a choice, wait. I’ve never been to school without having a child because I had my daughter so young – I’ve done 4 years of undergrad and 3 full years of grad school from the time my daughter was 8 months old until now. It’s certainly do-able, but it’s very, very difficult. Adding to that, a lot of undergrad programs are not understanding or accommodating to those with children (in comparison, a lot of graduate programs are most accustomed to student parents and can make it significantly less stressful).
For a lot of student parents, either their schooling or their children lose out in one way or another. School itself has never been difficult for me, but it’s significantly more work to balance raising a happy and healthy child (although certainly having an actively involved partner makes a difference) with your own goals. I’ve seen a lot of people who were determined to do both choose to take time off, and not come back, because it can be crushing to realise that your child needs you and you’re not giving enough as well as to realise you can’t give your all to your own goals and aspirations.