Post # 1
Fiance and I decided that we wanted the children in our wedding party (probably the only children who will be at the wedding) to eat BEFORE the wedding (wedding is at 7PM, dinner starts at 8… kids will be cranky by then). My mother offered to buy pizzas for all of them, to save Fiance and I money. The only person who has had any issues with this is Future Mother-In-Law. She wants her golden grandson to be served an expensive meal that he won’t even eat… and it needs to come a silver platter, or else!
Okay, okay. So, the silver platter thing is an exaggeration on my part. But, I definitely don’t think Future Mother-In-Law would object to that.
Anytime I bring up the pizza thing, Future Mother-In-Law says something along the lines of, “Well, that’s a good idea. But, I bet it won’t cost too much to get (future nephew) a meal at the reception, instead.” Umm… No? No way in hell I’m feeding my siblings and FCIL’s daughter Little Caesars, while future nephew nibbles on a steak. I love my future nephew to death, but I do not believe in preferential treatment. I especially won’t tolerate it where my siblings are concerned. Anywhere I am present, all children are treated equally.
I just don’t see what the big deal is. Future nephew is two-years-old. He would be content to have a can of Spaghetti-Os. He certainly isn’t going to remember this night. Why does it matter if he gets a plated meal? But, Future Mother-In-Law is relentless and adament that he get reception food.
I feel like telling her that if she wants future nephew to get reception food, then she’ll need to pay for all five children to have it.
Post # 3
@Pinksapphire: This sucks!! I totally agree with you.
Since it’s FIs mother could he talk to her about this? And tell her no! Or is she paying? Because if she is then I guess she has more weight to her demands.
Good luck! This is ridiculous demand for a two-year-old
Post # 4
I think pizza sounds like a much better plan. As a mother of a two year old, weddings are always hard on us. She’s not too picky of an eater, but with everything going on, she never wants to eat at weddings. It would be much easier to feed her pizza, which I know she’ll eat, beforehand so she can run around and dance to her heart’s content without getting scolded for not sitting still and eating food she doesn’t really want.
Post # 5
@Mrs. Bear Cheese Pie: Agree
Children love pizza, it’s a good way to make sure they’ll all eat their meal and then be free to dance around
Post # 6
Tell her you are going with the pizza beforehand and if he is still hungry at the reception you are sure his parents could give him a few bites of their meal (I doubt he will be hungry)
Post # 7
I’m with TriciaAndDazzling. I have a two year old and when she gets excited she won’t eat. Talk directly to the child’s parents and see what they would prefer. Unless Future Mother-In-Law has brainwashed them I’m sure they will agree that it would be better for the child to eat earlier. Is Future Mother-In-Law worried about nutrition? Maybe offer to have sweet potato fries and bananas to go along with the pizza. Kids love those things.
Post # 8
Maybe Future Mother-In-Law wants an extra steak. Seriously she’s being ridiculous. When you do talk to the child’s parents put it as “would future nephew prefer pizza OR steak” so it’s not a “shove your face with pizza and not want the steak” situation… surely the kid would prefer pizza. Don’t offer both!
Post # 9
@aheavel: I think that is the best idea. If he wants more she can give it to him off of her plate. Although it seems like a status thing to me.
Post # 10
I have 2 kids and they would be PO’d if all the other kids got pizza and they had to eat at the reception. I can guarentee my oldest would have a melt down. My kids waste a lot of food when we go out to eat so I would assume your fancy dinner would only be half eaten. She is being ridiculous!
Post # 11
I agree with PPs…go directly to the child’s parents. I have a small child and like others have said, he’d be upset if everyone else got their own mini pizza party and he was forced to sit with the adults and eat their boring food.
Post # 12
I’d also be sure your caterer knows the children are having pizza and are not to get a plate. Your Future Mother-In-Law sounds the type to demand a plate for him from the server…
Post # 13
I don’t understand why a two year old can’t eat off of his parent’s or grandparent’s plate if it’s so important that he have steak instead of pizza. Seriously, what two year old eats an adult sized portion? Future Mother-In-Law is out of line unless she’s paying.
Post # 14
No way in hell would I be serving a 2 year old an expensive steak. IF he even touches it, it’ll be a bite or two and then either someone else will eat the rest or it’ll be tossed. I would NEVER allow that to happen at my wedding, not when I’m paying for it. Your Future Mother-In-Law seems like a piece of work. No 2 year old is going to want a steak when pizza is available. I don’t really know anything about kids but can a 2 year old even eat steak? I imagine they can but would they even want it? Seems crazy to me.
Post # 15
@UpstateCait: “No way in hell would I be serving a 2 year old an expensive steak.”
Totally agree! That’s ridiculous! If I was a two year old having a slice of pizza would be a special treat!
I agree completely with @Paigey: “I don’t understand why a two year old can’t eat off of his parent’s or grandparent’s plate if it’s so important that he have steak instead of pizza. Seriously, what two year old eats an adult sized portion? Future Mother-In-Law is out of line unless she’s paying.”
I would hold your ground on this one! You’re being very reasonable!
Post # 16
Wait, are the kids eating before the meal than eating nothing at the reception?
Honestly, and I know this is a special case, but eating pizza before the ceremony would be a terrible idea for my toddler (2.5, boy). First of all, eating wheat and/or dairy makes him act out, secondly, he would throw a fit if he saw people eating and then oculdn’t have anything (at the reception). I also don’t generally serve my son different food than I eat, but that’s a different story, really, and not your obligation to fulfill.
Why isn’t there a kids option at the reception? Surely your caterer has a discounted kid’s option…?
Anyway, like I said, my case is a special case, but is there any chance that something is going on behind the scenes that you don’t fully understand? Maybe your Future Mother-In-Law is trying to avoid him acting out during dinner because he’s hungry? Maybe they’re planning to feed him late so he can eat quietly during the reception and not bother people? I don’t know, I just think there must be a reason your Future Mother-In-Law is being so insistant more than that she’s crazy.
(Also, none of the moms here feed their kid steak?)