(Closed) Kids and sexuality!

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 17
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t want sex to be a banned topic in my house so I openly talk about it with my kids.  When my son (5yo at the time) came to me and asked me about sex, I tried to give a wishy washy answer (parents love each other and make a baby) but he kept asking “How?” so I just told him.  And then we had some great discussions about it.  My daughter was 3 and she also heard so she found out then as well.

And menstruation has never been a secret either.  My kids frequently run up to get me tampons if I need one.  And they know they came out of my vagina and that a stork didn’t just drop them out of the sky.

And I was really glad we had that conversation because 2 weeks later my son came to me and said the kid son the kindergarten bus were talking about sex and they said it was when adults rub their butts together. 

I think that kids can get so much wrong information from their peers and it’s best to get the right information from the parents.  Plus, I hope that by having an open line of communication that it will prevent unwanted pregnancies later.

Post # 18
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Bracelet00:  Agreed.  It was always something we could talk about in our house. 

A few years ago my mom and I saw a pregnant 11/12 year old (and I’m being very generous in saying she was 11/12, she looked even younger than that) in the grocery store. I think it’s better to give your kids information early on & at a level that they can understand than giving your child no knowledge & hoping for the best.

Post # 19
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’ve been gradually telling my oldest son names of body parts and their basic functions (uterus, fallopian tubes, penis, testicles, etc), to prepare him for “the talk” and hopefully create a comfortable environment around the topic.  When he was 10 he tells me, “Oh, I already know about all that!” because they watched a video about frogs in science.  He definitely did not know the real deal and I let him believe the “frog story” for a couple more years (not because I’m unwilling to talk with him about it; I keep the lines of communication open and try to gauge when he’s ready for more info).  He knew the man provided sperm and the woman carried the eggs, but apparently he thought the sperm just floated over to the woman.  Sweet boy, I try to protect him from the oversexualization of our society while creating a feeling of appreciation and respect for a healthy sex life.  

 

Post # 20
Member
1292 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

My mom had the sex talk with me when I was about 8(?). I didn’t understand the ‘ins and outs’ (no pun intended) until middle school??? Then I was just buckwild on highschool. 

We actually plan to start informing our daughter early. I would not have been shocked at what the little boy said. He may have seen something on television or something. Who knows?

Post # 21
Member
9173 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Kacey23:  these days, kids definately know things younger.

i am 32 now, but when i was around 3, i came downstairs and asked my mom where i came from.  her response was “upstairs”.  i said that wasn’t what i meant, she tried to speak at a level i could understand.  when she explained further and was hinting at what i wanted to hear, she said i really wasn’t interested at that age.

fast forward to around 7, my mom took out one of those educational cartoon videos from the library about where babies come from and how they are made. 

we were supposed to wait for my mother to come home to watch, but my brother (who is 3 years younger) and I decided to watch it on our own.

so we both knew at 7 and 4 the basics of the birds and the bees.  although i think i knew before that. my parents were very open and answered any questions that we had honestly.

like when i came home from kindergarten and told her that a boy in my class told me that if i sat on a toilet seat after a boy i would have 1,000 babies.

Post # 22
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My parents gave me the talk at about 9 or 10, but I still didn’t know sex lingo until much later…. when friends would say … did you hear about so and so giving this guy a BJ? I was completely clueless. (just an example). These days its different though. 

Post # 23
Member
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m sure lots of kids know the basics of sex by 6 (I hope they do!).  Surely many of them have younger siblings, have seen pregnant woman, etc. by that age and have asked questions.  Why on earth would we we lie to them about it? 

Post # 24
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

When I was 7 I knew adults kissed then took off their clothes and laid in bed together. I don’t know HOW I knew that, but I did. I had no idea about sex or any details. So I’m assuming it was from movies I caught/etc.
Also the little boys in my class would look at boobs/naked bodys in our health books. This was in the early 90s.

I didn’t know about penetration until I was reading seventeen around the age of 13, it was horrific to me.

I think kids absorb more than we know.

Post # 25
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

In all fairness, sex scenes on TV are depicted with everybody naked under the covers and kissing. That’s probably what this kid was referencing – and it is true that in an Internet culture, kids are going to learn this stuff at younger ages. The information is a lot more accessible now to a younger audience than ever before – but I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing.

The kid’s comment, blurting it out in public, was definitely inappropriate – hopefully Mom addressed that later on (assuming he’s old enough to really understand and remember what he said…who knows, maybe have been 3 or 4 but looked 6 :D).

I think I actually learned about sex when I was 12 or 13. I had just never really thought about it and to some degree naively thought that sex was simply getting naked under the covers with somebody else.

 

Post # 26
Member
452 posts
Helper bee

I remember being kinda young (and precocious)… maybe 6/7. We parents always had National Geographic magazines. On the cover of one, there was a picture of an ultrasound on the cover. I knew it was a baby and knew about pregnancy. My parents (dad was a college professor) were always good about telling me the non-sugar coated, scientific truth. So I knew about sex and how babies were made, I just didn’t know the… mechanics, I guess. So I bet I could’ve told you that sperm got into the egg to make a baby at that age, but I probably didn’t realize you had to be naked to do it!

Post # 27
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@mtbikelover:  I totally agree with this, although I have no children of my own yet.

I was five when I found out what sex was. I was very, very curious as a child, and was constantly searching for more information. Had my mom not told me, I probably would have found a book about it.  Thankfully, my mom never hid things like that from me. She just gave me the need to know at my age. For instance, I knew people who loved each other made babies, then I I knew what the act of sex was, then I found out about eggs and sperm, then I found out that it is supposed to feel good as a teen.

I was never surprised by my period, or scared of puberty and sex because of the rumors children spread; from the start I knew the truth.  I also was not as subject to the media descriptions of these things because I had prior knowledge.

Now, my mom is my best friend. I never really rebelled against my parents as a teenager, or did the “bad” things that teens will sometimes do. I honestly believe this is because my parents had such open and honest communication with me.

Post # 28
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My 4 year old has already started asking where baby come from, why I don`t have penis etc, we have no problem answering his question. When he was 3ish I showed him a picture of my ultrasound from when I was pregnant with him, He started crying because he thought I ate him! lol

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