(Closed) Kids At Ceremony Not Reception (long)

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll:
    no kids : (11 votes)
    61 %
    so many kids : (0 votes)
    oh god the kids in the river : (7 votes)
    39 %
  • Post # 2
    5261 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    erose84:  Who will be watching the children back at the hotel?

    Post # 4
    468 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    “Although we can’t wait to have the children be a part of our ceremony, we planned for the reception to be adults only. We’ve arranged for a sitter to begin at 8pm, so that the adults can fully enjoy the celebration knowing that the children are safe and tucked in”

    Post # 5
    468 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    If someone has an issue with it, just reiterate that it should not be seen as a negative, but that these are the only children that were even included and out of courtesy, you would rather them be included in the most important part of the day instead of excluded totally. 

    My cousin preferred no children at his wedding, and our two youngest cousins (6 and 8 at the time, I think?) were invited to the wedding, ate something at the reception, and then were taken home by their grandmother (their grandmother that is not immediately related to our side). 

    Post # 6
    2841 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    erose84:  Just make sure the parents are well aware of your intentions to put them with a sitter- beforehand.  I would not be OK with my kids being handed off to a stranger – and would be especially put off if I had no heads up.  It’s possible they would rather have thier kid(s) picked up by someone they know (is this local or are they traveling?) or they might want to make other arrangements.

    One of the biggest issues for me the night of our wedding, was finding someone to take care of my 5 year old after 10pm- he was a full part of the ceremony and reception, but 10pm was plenty late for him.   There was no way I was sending him off with a random, hired sitter- but everyone whom I know well, trusted, and who I know he would be comfortable with- was going to be at the wedding!!

    Luckily, I had a gf offer to take him back to our hotel.  I paid for the room of course, and got a limo for the to ride in.  I would have never been able to enjoy myself if I knew he was uncomfortable or with a stranger.

    Post # 7
    4041 posts
    Honey bee

    erose84:  I have a strong suspicion that Type A mom will not be happy with the idea of her children being taken away to a hotel, by a babysitter she doesn’t know. Does the venue have a smaller room available, to be designated for the kids’ care and hang-out space?

    Post # 8
    8116 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Have you ever seen a child’s reaction when they are told they have to leave a continuing party. I think your guests will remember the 4x monumental it’s not fair I don’t want to leave a cool party tantrum more than 4 kids at the reception.

    Plus you will forever be the evil aunt to them, your FI and his family.

    And since your FI seems to want his family, because that is what these kids are, there I think you need to suck it up and give him this one.



    Post # 11
    7730 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    erose84:  I’d be worried about kids drowning in the river.  One of my cousin’s children did, however, it was not during a wedding reception.  I don’t think I’d take the chance, with all the party adults not watching their kids! Yikes.  It would not be a happy occasion or memory if a child drowned or was hit by a train. I would really emphasize that to your FI.  Nobody wants a tragedy on their wedding day. If it was my family, in that situation, it would definitely be no kids.  After much debate my FI agrees with me and says he will handle having the kids leave at 8, however his brothers tend to run rough shod over him.  Again, Yikes! You both need to be united on this, and stick to this.  I also wonder how you are going to deal with Type A Sister-In-Law, as she sounds like she could be a tough one.  How would your FIL’s feel about leaving the reception to be with the kids? If they want the kids to be included so badly-maybe they will leave the reception early to babysit, Can FI step up to the plate and talk to them about the safety concerns?!  <br /><br /><br />

    Post # 12
    468 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    erose84:  Although I’m sure it will ruffle a lot of feathers, as long as you and FI are in agreement about not wanting the kids there all night – it’s your wedding, after all. I don’t think this merits the “bridezilla” title, but Type A and family might put it that way. But after your description of the parents combined with the location – I definitely agree with you that there needs to be something in place. I hope your FI can step up in this case and not allow his brothers to walk all over him. 

    Somehow even the most rational decisions will make people call you a “Bridezilla”….ugh!

    Post # 13
    198 posts
    Blushing bee

    j_jaye:  Why not set up a ‘kids only party’ back at the hotel, then? If all the kids are under 10, it wouldn’t be hard to captivate them in a hotel room with a kids’ movie, and ‘goodie bags’ containing treats of various kinds. My cousin prepared goodie bags for all the kids at her wedding (‘kids’ being anyone under the legal drinking age, including 18-year-old me) that had bubbles and dinky toys and stickers. The younger kids loved it.<br /><br />Make it a special positive thing for just kids and they’ll be excited to go, not feeling like they’ve been left out or kicked out.

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