(Closed) Kids at Reception… Need a solution!

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I completely empathize.  We are in exactly the same situation.  Fortunately, our venue is more kid-friendly with a playground area. We have about 6 kids that are non-negotiable, which opened the floodgates to almost 50 kids.

I know some other bees offered babysitting onsite.

Post # 4
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

It’s a tough call. I have 23 cousins and second cousins. I do want all of them there, but I don’t necessarily want my other guests to bring children.

Post # 5
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

We have the same issue.  FI’s cousins are wonderful, and his older cousins have kids and there’s just too many of them.  We are just having his little cousins in the wedding. 

Could you ask some to be ring bearers/flower girls, and the older ones to hand out programs?  That way you have a justification for why they were invited?  Kinda sneaky in a way, but it works!

Post # 7
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think that you sort of have to be all-or-nothing, unfortunately (the exception is that kids who are in the ceremony are generally permitted to go to the reception–so you COULD do your ceremony French-style and have a lot of little ones in your processional!) It’s kind of a headache to try and cherry-pick other people’s children.

So you’ll have to have a talk with hubby. If you want help in making your case, here are some suggestions. If he’s worried about hurting his kid-relatives’ feelings, tell him to consider children are not adults and are unlikely to be hurt if they’re not invited. Disappointed, maybe, but they’re not going to be offended and all their parents have to say “Nope. It’s for adults only.” Kids tend to accept that kind of logic just fine. In addition, receptions can be kind of boring for kids and it’s a long night, especially if they’re little.

Maybe you can offer a compromise and perhaps allow kids at a morning-after brunch or something? Or you and hubby can take your favorites out for the afternoon and see a kid’s movie or something a few weeks after the wedding?  

Post # 8
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I agree with JennyW, maybe you can invite the kids to another wedding-related event. How close is your Fiance with these parents? Are they the type to be offended by not inviting their kids? I would say to give the kids you want to come jobs to include them in the “wedding party,” and write a note in the invites that due to space constraints, the ceremony and reception will be “adults-only except for the wedding party_ but all ages are welcome at the farewell brunch,” or something like that. 

Post # 9
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Invite them and hire a babysitter or two.

Post # 11
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would personally just not invite their children and invite the ones that you want. If asked about it, just say that your Fiance really wanted these particular kids to come because he’s close to them.

If you’re lucky, they won’t come anyway :). They don’t sound like pleasant people.

Post # 12
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

This view is going to be pretty contrary to what you’ve already said, so please, take it with a grain of salt (hah!). Here’s what I see you saying:

-FI has a huge family who he isn’t close to

-Some family members are not even the type of people you want to have at the wedding, judgmental, not looking after their children, etc.

-You want a small wedding

Yet you’re getting married in his hometown to accomodate the huge, at least somewhat disagreeable family?

My suggestion? Move the venue to another state. Those who he is close to will still come, and those you’d rather didn’t probably won’t fork out the travel expenses.

You’ll get your smaller wedding, he’ll get the right family members and not the rest, and you won’t have to worry about bratty kids.

Post # 13
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Seriously, just make your cut off “only first cousins invited” and then ask the two seconds cousins that you want to attend the guest book table. 

Post # 14
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think you and your fiance need to sit down and talk about the pros and cons of each of your options, in which case there are three. No kids at wedding, all kids at wedding, or cherry-pick kids at wedding. Get you fiance’s input and see if he has really strong feelings about whether or not his favorite littles ones attend or not and go from there. You also need to decide what your favorite option is too and present that to him. Hopefuly, you guys will find a good solution!

We had the same issue, and i think many couples do. In the end, we voted in favor of the “all kids” option and it worked out fine. We were worried about some kids misbehaving too, but they were all angels. I think our awesome activity bags for the kids really helped keep them happy and busy.

Post # 16
875 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think it has to be an all or nothing thing… if the only kid guest are very close relatives and everyone else has a little distance then don’t worry about it.  Invite the kids you love, and ignore the others!

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