Post # 1
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
I am torn on the whole kids at the wedding thing. We have some kids in our family, including our own 10 year old son, who will be there for sure but what about our guests kids? We are having an evening, semi-formal wedding. My Fh and Future Mother-In-Law think that kids don’t belong at weddings, which I get and somewhat agree with them on.
How do you ladies feel? Keep in mind, each kid at our wedding (age 2-10) costs us $59 and we are paying for it ourselves. (We opted to go with a higher-end menu at an all inclusive venue.) We are having a small wedding, about 65 adults are on the guest list now. I’m worried that I’ll hurt people’s feelings if I invite some people’s kids but not others. Ah man…why does this have to be so hard?
Post # 3
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
Whether you want kids there is up to you, but people’s feelings will be hurt if some guests can bring kids and some guests can’t. However, most people’s feelings will not be hurt if your son is there, and their kid wasn’t invited since the distinction is pretty clear. If you’re going to only have some kids, you need to have a pretty bright line rule (ie, only kids in the wedding)
Post # 4
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
We are inviting family members’ children, but not friends. I think that our friends will appreciate leaving their kids with a babysitter/ parent for the evening and that there won’t be any hard feelings.
Post # 5
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
Yeah, my son is in the wedding, of course, and so is our cousin. I guess I should have explained it a little better.
We have one cousin who told me that they were going to get a sitter because they want to enjoy themselves. So, should I put their kids on the invite? We have another cousin who would probably bring their kids. If I put their kids on the invite and not the other kids…yikes!! See what I’m saying?? Where do you draw the line? We are paying for the entire wedding ourselves so our guest list is small to begin with.
Do we just invite kids that are family and not friends? I’m so torn!
Post # 6
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee
Kids cost $59???? That is the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard!!! Is there any room for negotiation with the venue?
Personally, I don’t have a problem with kids at weddings, as evidenced by the fact that we have 18 kids attending our wedding (not including the babies who don’t need a meal provided for them). Do many of your guests with kids have to travel far to attend your wedding? That’s where I think it gets tricky. Most of my guests are Out of Town and all of them were invited with kids as I didn’t feel it appropriate to say hey, leave your kids at home for the weekend and come to my wedding. Granted, many of them chose to leave their kids at home, but they appreciated that the option was there.
The other thing is that I think you’d be ok to invite kids of family members and cut it off there if need be. People will understand that, but if you start chopping and changing, allowing some friends to bring kids whilst others can’t, I think you start creating some sticky situations.
If there is no room for negotiation on the kids price, I think you could just make that known to the parents of kids, saying that you couldn’t actually afford to invite children as the cost for them was the same as an adult but you hope they’re still able to attend.
Good luck!
Post # 7
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
@middy00:That idea dawned on me as I was writing my post. 
Post # 8
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
I would check and see if there is a less expensive kids menu, $59 is a lot of money for a small child!
Post # 9
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
The kids or no kids decision is totally up to you & your Fiance and no one else.
Is your kid price the same as your adult price? Usually it’s lower mine was half price? 5 and under was also free with my venue.
Kids ranging from months old to 18 made up 25% of our guests list and we gladly paid for it because we can’t imagine a wedding without kids? We just included it as part of our budget and that was that.
Growing up kids were ALWAYS at weddings. To me I’d rather have kids at a wedding than $300 Louboutins or a fancy send off, etc etc. Personal choice.
P.S. Not a single crying baby at our wedding just tons of insanely cute kids hitting up the dance floor!
Post # 10
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
We’re inviting the kids, because it won’t make that much of a difference and because A LOT will be coming from out of town.
Most, I say this because I’m a parent, also, would leave the kids home and enjoy a night out without the kids. It’s a great excuse to have the night out, actually.
Post # 11
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
Shoot, my response didn’t post….
Adults are $99 and kids (2-10) are $59. Our venue is all-inclusive so everything is included except for flowers, photog and DJ. We are food snobs so good food was the main priority for us. LOL
I think I like the idea of inviting the kids of family only. Gotta draw the line somewhere. It’s just hard since we are paying for it ourselves.
Post # 12
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: April 2011 - Sweet ceremony by the sea and sunset celebration on the North Shore of Hawaii
i guess it depends how many kids it is. we had very few – 6 total – and, like some previous bees mentioned, most of our friends opted to leave their kiddos at home with the grandparents. that helped keep the little ones from dominating the day. but seriously the party wouldn’t have been nearly as awesome if those 6 amazing kiddos weren’t there. good luck, lady!
Post # 13
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
Is it possible for you to get a couple of babysitters? May be a hassle, but well worth it for the kids not in the wedding. If your cost is $59 per kid alone, you could probably hire babysitters for the price of 5 kids to attend your reception. I’ve seen this done at a recent wedding and have contemplated this for my own wedding.
If you like this idea, ask around to kids entertainment companies – ie those that do face painting, balloon twisting, character birthday parties, etc. Usually they have good contacts for something like this.
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