- 10 months ago
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
So my wedding drama got crazy this weekend when I was finally able to sit down with my Future Mother-In-Law to discuss the guest list. For a little background info, my Future Mother-In-Law pretty much added everyone she could think of to my guest list and offered to pay for everyone to come if we couldn’t afford it. Which is great. I totally appreciate her assistance with it, especially sicne we wouldnt be able to afford 170 people (including the 30-40 close family friends we just have to invite even though I havent met them in the 10 years my fiance and I have been together).
However the big issue we have come to odds about is kids at the wedding. I was upfront from the moment we started venue hunting that I wanted an adults only wedding. This was not a huge deal in my mind, as my family has no young children. I knew there were a few young-ish kids on my fiance’s side, so I decided to compromise and say no kids under the age of 10.
I thought this was a fair compromise, as some of the slightly older kids could still attend, but the very young ones would not be in attendance. Well once I brought this up to my Future Mother-In-Law, I was met with a huge resistance. Mainly due to the fact that her brother, that lives away from us and would have to travel for the wedding, has 2 autistic children under the age of 10 that they absolutely must bring to the wedding. They cannot leave them at home with a family member or friend.
I then offered to hire a professional babysitter to watch them, since if we included these kids at the wedding, we would have to open the door to kids for all our other guests who have them as well. All or nothing, right? You cant say some people can bring their kids but not others. However, that was met with an absolute and hard no. These kids absolutely cannot be left with 1 stranger. However, It should be no problem because “they will be perfectly well behaved” for the ceremony and reception….of 170 strangers. drunk strangers.
So basically my Future Mother-In-Law has responded to my request for “no kids at the wedding” with: there will be 12 kids invited to the wedding.
What do I do Bee’s? Do I turn around and tell her absolutely not? Even if it means her brother will not come to the wedding? I have a very good relationshiop with my Future Mother-In-Law, but I feel like this will cause a divide between us. My fiance understands how important this is to me, but he honestly does not have a preference one way or the other. He doesn’t think the kids will be a huge problem. He keeps saying, well they probably wont all come and how likely is it they will cause any disruptions.
Any advice, notes or alternative idea’s would be extremely helpful. Thanks In Advance.
PS. Just wanted to note that the thought of 12 kids at my wedding has completely taken out any joy I have had for my wedding. I honestly wish we werent even doing a wedding anymore and had just eloped (not an option however, too many deposits to be lost). I have nothing against kids, they are great and sweet and wonderful. I just do not want them there on my big day.