(Closed) Kids at the wedding! I seriously don’t get it!

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i see no problemn with it. while i am having kids at my ceremony i understand why you dont want them there. its all personal preference and it is your day. i remember being a kid and receptions were fun for all of about an hour. after that the sugar buzz wore off and i was tired of running around with all the other kids who were usually in the same boat as i was. 90% of the time i ended up crashing on 2 of the chairs until my mom or dad was ready to leave. i def would have rather been home with a babysitter trying to see what all they would let me get away with. lol! good luck!

Post # 63
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@kare – nice to see someone else standing up with that opinion.

My peace of mind over the most important thing in my life, my son, isn’t worth anything else in the world.

That being said, I completely respect a person’s decision to have an Adult’s Only wedding. I would not be insulted, and I would enjoy an evening out with my Fiance, provided we did have someone that we trusted very much looking after our baby.

But I do feel as though some of the comments on this board are especially harsh and disrespectful. I hope that those of you childless people who plan on having kids have a change of heart.

Post # 64
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Just have to add, that talking about crying, upset, what have you children is in no way offensive…

 

Its when you say “yapping, loud, whiny” that really gets me upset.  It comes across as that person obviously having a dislike for children in general and if you put it as such to parents that are invited to your wedding, don’t be surpirised if they decline to stay home and let their children yap and whine at them all night.  Everyone should have the wedding they want, but be aware that you will offend some parents if you tell them to leave their yapping children at home.

Post # 65
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@sassysamarino-I’m in the “no kid camp” even though there will be 5 children at my wedding I would be happier if some weren’t there, but I have to say  I think expecting a 6 month old baby to not make a peep during the ceremony is a little ridiculous.

It’s a baby, he/she isn’t doing it on purpose. You say you love your niece-don’t you think your Fiance loves his little 6month old and 3 year old niece or nephew? Have a little empathy.  I think if you stop your ceremony to yell at a baby and it’s mother…um…that’s just wrong. I get it’s your day and all, but we shouldn’t act like  Mariah Carey throwing diva temper tantrums. We are just brides. We aren’t movie stars, nobody is interested in kissing our asses, and  no one is going to care (or die) if the baby cries a little. The mom just quietly exits.

Post # 66
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well said flamingred.

Post # 67
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wow, this topic has so many people defensive. I am getting married this May 8th and our 18 month old son (yes its going to be an interesting ceremony) is our ring bearer -mostly because we want him to share this with us. We also have a 3 year old flower girl. This being said after the ceremony and pictures are done they are heading to their babysitters and having a pizza party. We decided on an adult reception (with the exception of a few 14 and 16 year olds. We already have family members with new babies and young children who have declined and we completely understand. It not only is expensive to find a babysitter but to pay for hte gas and hotel at the wedding as well.

Each couple should decide what kind of reception they want and whether kids fit into their idea of what they see their reception as. If parents decline the wedding its not with malice. If  a couple does not invite kids it is also not to be cruel. I really don’t see why people are so angry over something that seems so logical…

Good luck with everyones wedding – and remember: its only one day so have fun and dont focus on all the bad stuff!

Post # 68
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I really think it’s more about the parents of the children than the children themselves. Children will be children. It when the parents don’t take responsibility for their children. If your child starts crying or being otherwise disruptive during the ceremony, it is your responsibility as a parent to take your child out of that situation until he or she quiets down. It is your responsibility as a parent to watch your child at the reception and make sure your child does not stick his or her fingers in someone’s wedding cake (just to use an example that keeps popping up). There are plenty of great parents out there that understand this. There are also a lot of parents who don’t. I, unfortunately, have to contend with the oblivious inconsiderate parents. If we did kids, I would have to deal with Mrs. “Look at me I’m a mommy look how cute my screaming five year old across the room is” while she chats it up in the line for the open bar and double-fists chardonnay. Great parenting.

Post # 69
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Our wedding wasn’t a child friendly event so we only had our nephew there.

Ditto kittyachi….i waited tables for 4 years and i’ve seen my fair share of crappy parenting…I just didn’t even want to deal with it at our wedding. Nor the extra cost incurred by children with $30/plate dinners. Plus our ceremony STARTED at 6pm. If we’d had something in the afternoon, something more casual, something backyard, etc, where children running around isn’t a big deal, it’d have been a different wedding. But DJ+open bar+late reception is a party atmosphere. Even our nephew went home at 8pm after dinner.

Post # 70
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Just a note to all the non-parents calling pretty much every parent whose child cries bad – yes if your child is crying in the ceremony you should take them outside – but just a note:

children are people…I know this sounds crazy but they are. They are a whole human being who has feelings and thoughts of their own – what are they thinking? We can’t allow them to feel or have thoughts.. to cry or feel pain….its just plain NUTS!

When my son cries I leave the store because I want him to learn that behaviour is unacceptable – but the reality is he is still crying outside the store and I can’t make an 18 month old understand that I am embarassed and that he is disrupting everyone elses day. It doesnt work that way – if it did, by God parenting would be a heck of a lot easier. I am sure that most of you cried at least once when your parents had you out. Its horrifying as a parent to know people are looking at you thinking “jeez shut your kid up” – absolutely embarrassing at times. That does not make someone a bad parent.  A parent does not look at their 5 month old and say “yay keep crying everyones looking at me thinking i am such a “cute mommy” and really cool”.

Just a thought!

Post # 71
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I can’t even express how much I don’t want kids at our wedding. I also can’t express how frustrated I am at the logistics of pulling that off. No idea how it will come out.

Post # 72
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

So do all these parents who bring kids also add in an extra $50 per kid as a gift? Or is the kid just included with the parents gift?

I’ve never been to a wedding with kids, but I can imagine all the extra cost.

Post # 73
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I certainly don’t begrudge anyone who doesn’t want kids at their wedding. Given the choice, I would probably skip a child free reception myself, bc I think kids are super fun at a big party. And I have to laugh at the idea that someone would assume that a wedding would be how I want to spend a date night. I would also love to conveniently have a few sitters in my arsenal, but that’s totally easier than done!

 But, again a child-free wedding is your prerogative if that’s what you desire.

What’s bugging me is the comments that sound like, “eeew…kids are icky…” It reminds me of Monsters, Inc, where the monsters think that the kids touching them is dangerous.

Post # 74
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Uh, yes, I do include the cost of my childs plate at a wedding. As a common courtesy, I give a cash gift in the amount of my families plates, and as well a wedding gift.

And hear hear Shelbs – yes, children cry. It has little to do with bad parenting. Would I tolerate it and sit there and let my child cry through someone’s wedding? Absolutely not, I have more sense than that. But common ladies (and the few gentlemen that are out there), who do you think you are that the world revolves around you?

Post # 75
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@PearlGirlDC…Wow. I’ve never heard of a bride saying anything like that. I’m shocked. I would be personally offended if someone said that about my child. I wouldn’t look at each and every guest as “what am I getting in return.”

Post # 76
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

You know, i can’t believe the audacity of some folks. It is not their wedding, it is YOURS. Didn’t they feel taht way about their own?

If you don’t want kids at the wedding, there should be no kids at your wedding. Period. Those that don’t understand that are obiously self-absorbed, which is a lot of what society seems to be about these days.

Your day- your way. Politely, of course (well, until someone writes something on the invite. Then all bets should be off in the polite department).

The topic ‘Kids at the wedding! I seriously don’t get it!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors