(Closed) Kids at the wedding or no kids at the wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Are you inviting kids to your wedding?
    Yes : (58 votes)
    42 %
    No : (69 votes)
    50 %
    Yes but only above a certain age : (12 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I love all my nieces and nephews so the idea of not inviting them to our wedding wasn’t even an issue. We invited everyone’s kids. The youngest was probably just shy of 1 and the oldest being 15. The teenagers were the annoying ones who decided they were too cool to go at the last minute leaving us still having to pay their adult priced meal. *sigh*

    Post # 4
    Member
    1828 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I used to be head waitress for a catering company. The kids running around were barely noticeable…now the DRUNK adults?! I had one drunk woman sit on a clearing cart right on a pile of whipped cream covered plates and one bride carried out because she couldn’t stand…the list goes on and on but I can’t list one where the kids were such a problem that anyone would be bothered.

    Post # 5
    Member
    8042 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @LabDarling:  I recently went to a wedding where there were a couple of babysitters looking after the kids and they really didn’t bother the adults. They had activities set up for them and it was like they weren’t there. Later in the reception kids were allowed to see their parents if they really wanted to, but you barely noticed they were there.

    I think it’s reasonable to say ‘no kids’ meaning 18 (at least in Canada you’re considered an adult at 18)… it is only one day after all and it’ll give the parents a break.

    I wouldn’t say age 15 though because yeah, it would mean excluding siblings potentially.

    Post # 6
    Member
    8461 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @Luayne:  Drunk adults are the reason I don’t want kids at my wedding, what parent would want their child exposed to that?

    My age cutoff is 18.  I know that many of the friends I’m inviting are heavy drinkers, coming in from out of town, and staying at the hotel where our wedding ceremony/reception are going to be held.  Add on to that an open bar, and they really have nothing holding them back from getting wasted.  When I explained this to my guests that I did not want their children to be left in what is basically a “bar” environment,  none of them complained or felt slighted. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1828 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @housebee:  I can see your point but for me, I would rather have the kids there and the drunks can stay home! First of all, I don’t want people getting wasted on my dime and secondly, I’ve seen drunken behavior ruin a wedding reception far more often than children have. If anyone starts getting wasted at mine I will have absolutely no problem telling them to leave! 

    Post # 8
    Member
    79 posts
    Worker bee

    My views are its my wedding not a crèche…we will be having an 8 year old, 11 and 14 year old at our wedding just to be the bridesmaid and page boy in the morning but they will be leaving before the evening so that people can still dance and have fun with out tripping over kids and also there’s usually a few drunks at a weddIng so I don’t think it’s appropriate. No under 18’s to the evening. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’m have three very special kids at my wedding (FI’s nieces, my godson), but that’s it. They are guests in their own right. If people get sore, so be it.  

    Post # 10
    Member
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    I’m very lucky not to have any guests/relatives with kids older than 18, but I would consider the cutoff at 18.  We’re not inviting children, but are offering to find babysitters for the night to anyone who needs it.

    Post # 11
    Member
    8461 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @Luayne:  Exactly, you can either have drunk adults or children, not both.  At least that’s how I see it.  I guess the difference is I feel that guests are supposed to get drunk on my dime for a wedding.  Then again, I don’t drink at all, so maybe my definition of drunk is different than other people.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    We want to have just our nieces and nephews there, with the exception of the two newborns arriving this year (one in Feb, the other in July). The funny thing is, some of my sisters have expressed that they do NOT want their kids there so they can enjoy the night kid-free!! So we’re leaving it up to our siblings to decide. My niece is the flower girl so she’ll be there, but my sister’s mother in law will have the new baby and will come get my niece at some point during the reception. I think other siblings will also make arrangements for their kids to be taken by a baby-sitter at some point during the evening. The ages will be from 4 to 15. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    We are drawing the line at family kids, who also happen to much older (4-5 minimum). There will be a handful of other young toddlers of non-family members but they probably won’t attend anyway due to distance, or could easily get a sitter since they’re local (and knowing my friend they’d want to, so they could have more fun).

    Post # 14
    Member
    3766 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I will have kids of all ages, and a table with snacks/drinks/activities for them. I can’t imagine a wedding without kids, to be honest.

    Post # 15
    Member
    11234 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We’re inviting about 10 kids. I’m really hoping that some of them don’t come, mostly because I don’t want the parents to leave early or anything because of the kids. Our reception venue is also in the middle of a bunch of bars on a Friday night in a college town, so it’s probably not the best place for kids (though we’re up on the second floor and away from the general public, obviously). If they come, they come, and I’m sure they’ll be fine, but the parents with young ones (toddlers–we only know one couple with a baby and they aren’t bringing her) will probably leave early when the kids get cranky. That sucks, but it’s a long reception, so whatever.

    There are two kids we don’t really know (FI’s stepmom’s nephews), and I’m mostly worried about them because the younger one can’t leave FI’s sister alone, and she’s one of my BMs. I really want her to have fun and enjoy being a Bridesmaid or Best Man and hanging out with me/feel grown up (she’s 16) and not have to worry about a 2 year old shadowing her.

    Post # 16
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I definitely want children at my wedding.  I am a God-mother, so I know I want to include him in my ceremony.  However, the venue I am planning for is very kid friendly with catch-and-release fishing, a bonfire to which we will add smore’s supplies, yard games like cornhole, a candy bar, and farm animals.  

    I will also make small favor bags for the littliest ones (ages 0-10) with age appropriate toys to keep them occupied.  For example, my Godson will be 4 so I will include some coloring books, toy cars, and some finger-food snacks like goldfish or pretzels.

    However, if my fiance and I were planning a more elegant, black tie affair I would probably consider not allowing children to come.  That being said, black tie weddings aren’t our style and our rustic, farm wedding is right up our alley.  

    I think it just depends on how many children you would need to invite, the venue space, and your family structure.  My fiance and I love children and want our wedding to be fun and casual so including them for us is a no brainer!

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