- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
Ok, so sad, long story but I will try to be quick, my younger sister has six kids, ALL boys…twins that are severly austistic and live with my Dad. Her eldest who is 13 lives with my mom, and then three of them live with her, all under the age of 8. I have said I want no children at the wedding besides my own.
I have three, (2 girls, one boy ages 11,6, and 3) and they are part of the wedding party, Maid/Matron of Honor, Flower Girl, Ring Bearer.
I have asked my sisters eldest son to walk with my daughter, so that makes him the ONLY other “child” there. Truthfully he has been with my mom since he was a young baby, so he’s more like a waaaaaaay younger brother than a nephew to me. I am also closest with him, than all of her children as she has some “issues” and moves around constantly. (every 6 months). Her 8 year old lived with us for 5 months, and he has severe, emmontional and trauma issues. He may not even be around at the wedding becuase he is on suicide watch…like I said he’s EIGHT. I feel terrible that he can’t come, or may not even be able to come becuase of what is going on with him, but I can’t have him there, he is disruptive and prone to outbursts. My heart breaks for him, but I can’t.
Her twins are 3 months younger than my eldest who is 11.
One of her twin sons that my father raises is unable to sit still for any amount of time, bangs his head off floors, walls, hits himself, is not potty trained, and has impluses hard for my dad to control, and is basically on fight or flight mode all the time coupled with loud yelping. I have asked my father not to bring him to my wedding. the other twin is living in a hospital permanently, beucase his issues of self harm went above and beyone and it’s too much to even get into here.
He may not come becuase of this, and I realize this but I can’t have him.
My parents have given up both of their lives to try to help her and her children. My father refuses to look at the picture, no matter how bleak for the twins, and truly beleives he is their only savior and won’t admit he can’t handle it. My mother enables her, and will even hire a babysitter for her two youngest (1, and 2) so that she herself can attend.
The thing is, I am having a huge guilt over this, selecting the “normal” brother to come and the rest have to stay home becuase of age, and mental issues.