(Closed) Kids at wedding- Ahhh

posted 4 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
2955 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

Doesn’t your venu offer kids meals?   however all for not having kids at weddings especially if they are not well behaved. 

Post # 5
Member
969 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If you had already discussed not having kids at the wedding… you shouldn’t change it now. I agree, paying that much for little kids makes me cringe. If they aren’t well behaved, I would definitely pass on inviting them.

I don’t know if there is a way you can have a separate kids area… maybe there is some kind of arrangement where you can have snacks and kiddie foods that you provide, without having to pay the $70 pp cost for the kids?

Post # 6
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I drew the line with no children also.  FI has 8 neices and nephews.  Of the 5 I’ve met, they’re all hellians and he even specficially said he didn’t want them there.  I have 2 adorable nephews that I would love to have in the family pictures, BUT it was all or nothing.  My SIL is totally ok with the kiddos not invited.  Is your FI going to cough up the extra money to the children to eat?  That could be a good negotiating point.  Has he given a valid reason for wanting to have the children?  Just sit down and write out the pros and cons of each.  Maybe if he’s sees that all signs point to no children for good logical reasons, he’ll change his mind.

Post # 7
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Call them and ask, maybe they just neglected to tell you about kids meals. Besides, what 5 year old wants to eat steak?

Post # 8
Member
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Our contract doesn’t mention kid meals, so we assumed that even the 4 year olds were going to be $100+ per head. Well, when we met with them months after signing a contract they told us that there are two, lower priced options for kids. Under 21, but over 12 are cheaper because we aren’t paying for their booze, and 12 and under is WAY reduced because it’s a kid’s meal like chicken nuggets or something. Our contract doesn’t say a word about this. If I were you, I’d call the venue just to make sure. For us it was a welcome surprise.

Post # 10
Member
1847 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I made the unpopular decision to set an age limt on the kids we invited. No children under 5. 

The reason for this is because we have 7 children in our immediate family that are ges 7-10 (including our son) who are all well behaved, and will be behaved so we wanted them there. We also have 8 children under 5 (most 1-2) in our immediate family, who because of their ages and just knowing their parents, we knew it would be a full on daycare if they were all there. There would screening and temper tantrums and it would be ugly, so we set the age limit.

It has caused a few issues with FIs family, but they will get over it. Everyone knows we love their kids, we just want our wedding to go a certain way, and it doesn’t involve screaming children.  

Post # 11
Member
969 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@theshannondee:  Well in that case, why even ask about the price? It sounds like you already decided what you want, and had previously discussed it. Just tell FI that you really don’t want them there.

What time is your wedding? Ours was an evening wedding so we told a few people that the late night was our reason for not having kids there.

Post # 12
Member
5105 posts
Bee Keeper

@theshannondee:  Esh, I feel you, I wouldn’t want any kids either, especially poorly behaved ones. Sounds like you need to tell your SO that and say you agreed that in the first place, now you need to stick to it.

Post # 14
Member
8142 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i wanted no kids.  FI fought for his 5 year old and 8 year old cousins to come as the only kids.  my mom (who is paying) and i said NO.

they will be flower girls in the ceremony but are not welcome at the reception.

if my OOT cousin brings his kids ages 8 and 10, we offered to get them a babysitter because we would love to see them at the rehearsal dinner and sunday brunch.

 

Post # 15
Member
969 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@theshannondee:  It’s not unreasonable for either of you, but some good points to make are:

 

– an evening wedding means sleepy kids, which means many of your guests with kids will leave early

 

– sometimes it’s nice for parents to get a break and just go out without them

 

– you don’t want kids acting up during the ceremony

 

– you already discussed it with him and he agreed to it

 

 

 

There a lot of things that come up during wedding planning that are “small” reasonable requests, but that doesn’t mean you need to accept all of them. He may have a logical argument, but so do you.

ETA: What kind of event do YOU want? You said that his family isn’t the “party” type, but that he is nothing like them. If you both want the party type atmosphere, that is enough of a reason not to include kids.

 

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