(Closed) kids at wedding – didn’t realize how sensitive a subject this is!

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yea, I just found out too, some of my family members are pouting about it as well. I had the same thought as you, I want my friends and family to have a great time and enjoy themselves and being a mother myself I know the little ones will get tired and cranky at some point. I am actually pretty mad because my RSVP’s just started coming back and a 2nd cousin of mine added her 7 year olds name to it!! Are you kidding me??? who does that? I haven’t said anything about it yet, still trying to figure out how to handle it, and I actually had put “adult” reception to follow…

Post # 4
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

If you put “adult” reception, and you don’t want kids there, just tell her.  It’s your wedding and your call. 

Post # 5
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You shouldn’t back down, it’s your wedding and you have given them all advanced notice. We are putting “Adult reception only” on our invite, but some people have the nerve to ignore it. Like my brother’s wedding 2 years ago- he did the same and people still braught their kids. One guest in particulair braught their 7-8 yr old and the kid didn’t want a child’s plate! So they asked for an adult plate for him! That was a $75 plate!

Post # 6
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

We have three young children coming (all out of state guests) and that’s it. I’m hoping nobody is upset because we are allowing these three families to bring their toddlers, but I don’t have any other choice. (These three guests are very, very close friends of ours) I think people will understand that they are out of towners.

If they were NOT out of state guests, there would be NO children allowed. I see no reason why the bride/groom should not get to decide if they want children or not! Sorry you have people getting huffy about it. I don’t think you should feel badly about not allowing children. It’s your wedding!!! Good luck.

Post # 7
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

That’s great you girls aren’t backing down, I need to get the nerve up to call or have my mom call, I know she will just say she doesn’t have a sitter. It just bugs me that people actually ignore the invites! KIKI I can’t believe someone would think their 8yr old should get a $75 plate!! Wow! lol

Post # 9
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m sorry how old are these kids? and they dont have sitters?? yet right…come on..

Post # 10
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

For out of state, you could hire a reception babysitter.  We tried to offer this to our guests, but no one took the bait and are just leaving the kids at home or not coming at all (making me feel slightly guilty about the no kids policy).  

 

Post # 11
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

You can always email them information about child-care in the area, or hire a few trusted friend’s babysitters for those children–especially out of town children. They will be doing adult stuff all weekend and a night with their peers would be tons of fun. Truthfully, you are doing the parent a favor if there won’t be children there to play with, the kids will be bored.

Post # 12
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I kind of have mixed feelings about this. I’m not disagreeing that you should be able to do what you want at your wedding; YOU should definatly get to choose if you want kids or not. I guess I’m just sharing this so you can maybe see how other people look @ it who are getting upset. For me It’s hard to understand why people WOULDN’T want them there. The kids are usually the one’s that get people out on the dance floor. I love kids & so does Fiance. For every family and friend that we invite; they’re kids are special to us. I don’t feel like I should tell them they’re family is invited to my wedding; but then tell them their children can’t come. They’re kids are part of their family now too. Weddings are about celebration. They’re about Love and Family and coming together; not just about money. Kids are a big part of all our guests lives. So I guess If a guest wants a night out on their own to celebrate without their children; they will get a baby sitter on their own without me telling them to. People become protective of their children. So even though you’re looking at it for logical reasons for the day; they are probably seeing it as snobbary & dislike to their children. Some people just don’t feel compfortable being told they’re children aren’t welcome somewhere. It may not be right for people to feel this way; but they do. That’s why soo many people DO get soo offended when this happens.

Please ladies; don’t bombard me for this; I just wanted to give a different point of view. In the end it is definatly your choice & your day. So just don’t let all the mixed feelings get to you. I don’t think there is anyway around them…

Post # 13
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@ JuneBride2010: That is completely and utterly RIDICULOUS. Personally, I do not feel that a wedding is the place for children. My nephew, (who will be 2 yrs old) will be the only child at our wedding & that is only because he is our ringbearer. After the ceremony, his other Grandparents will be picking him up to take him to their house so that my sister and her husband can relax and have fun at our reception. The younger the child is, the more unfair it is to expect them to be quiet and well mannered at an all day, all night, ADULT event. If you were a child, would you want to go to a wedding? Not likely. Which is why the kids grow antsy 2 hrs into the event and start freaking out! 

I am completely baffled by all these stories of people ignoring the invites and bringing their kids. It is so RUDE. The day is not about your friends’ children. It’s about you and your husband. Unless they are paying for your wedding, they don’t have a right to make amendments to your guest list. I don’t think you should back down from this. It’s your wedding, not theirs!

Post # 14
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We are asking people not to bring their children too.  Just kids from our families alone added another 20 people, and just like you said – forces their parents to “babysit” them all night.  If people RSVP with children, I will politely ask them if it’s possible to get a babysitter, we are trying to have an adult only reception..

Post # 15
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We’ve put adults only on our webpage and let people know that we are having an ‘adults only’ event. I know to expect a few children because my family is hard headed. But I am the family babysitter. I love them all, but I so I can just imagine all the little ones standing on my silk dress with sticky fingers, screaming “I’m bored!”

Stand your ground my dear! This is your day!

Post # 16
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

My cousin had an adult-only reception so that everyone could drink alcohol freely, curse, and generally get down with their bad selves.  One of her friends decided to bring her TWO kids anyway.  BUT my cuz had a kickass plan!  She had already warned her venue about the no children policy, and asked that they not allow the children in the venue AT ALL.  The reason being that they were serving alcohol.  So her friend (who KNEW she wasn’t supposed to bring her kids anyway) tried to come in and got stopped at the door by the staff who told her that her children were not allowed into the area.  She then asked if they could serve them food OUTSIDE the dining hall.  To which the staff replied that they were sorry but that was not in the contract, and they could not accomodate her request.

Gotta hand it to Cuz Claire!  Not only did she keep the kids away from the alcohol fueled riot going on inside, but she also kept her “friend” from getting two $40 kids plates added to her bill!

Maybe just talk to your venue about how they can accomodate your desire for no kids?  If someone chooses to be disrespectful, they still may not be able to pile on the cost of the meals.  Or you could instruct your caterer not to offer any food for the children.

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