(Closed) Kids at weddings

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I was specific with kids. I think most adults want a “date night” without kids. No one complained about not having their kids there while others (from out of town) had to bring theirs. We overthink things too much as brides. 

Post # 3
Member
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
jenniesue09 : Some people get totally bent out of shape when their kids are not included. They are completely unable to accept the fact that not everyone thinks all events need to be kid friendly.

Generally speaking, people better handle their kids being excluded if there appears to be some fairness applied across the board, e.g only kids in the wedding party, only kids of immediate family, only out of town kids.

Is there a reason that you would invite only your cousin’s children?

Post # 4
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I would do either no kids, or invite all kids (or maybe kids in the wedding party, if any). Inviting some and not others will just offend people.

Post # 5
Member
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

you know that you need to count everyone?  wedding party, bride and groom etc in that count. If they say 150 ppl they mean that

Post # 6
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I invited some kids but not all, simply because some of my first cousins are children and we are very close.  I’m the oldest girl of 30 grandchildren and some of my cousins are younger than my own children.  At every wedding the cousins do a choreographed dance so it was important to me that they were there The cousin’s children were not invited (more of a generation thing than an age thing).  Two people brought babies (not expected) but I don’t even think I cared at that point. We had quite a few no-shows so it all evened out in the end with the numbers.

 

 

Post # 7
Member
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I am having the same dilemma. 

My cousins have very young children and it’s gonna be a long ceremony, also my FI’s cousins also have kids: lots of kids. Like 5-6 each. And that would be insanity, he also doesn’t care if his cousins show up.

so we are having no children. Except my flower girl. 

Post # 8
Member
6299 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Generally I think it needs to be all or nothing kind of thing – you can get away with kids of your immediate family (ie: your nieces/nephews) without too much flack.

We had no kids at our wedding, it was awesome. We did have a Flower Girl & RB (the kids of my MOH) and while they were actually welcome to stay for the wedding, she opted to get a sitter for the reception because she wanted to enjoy herself. They were also 7 & 6 so hardly super little.

When we made the decision it was primarily because we do not enjoy kids at weddings, and also because of space. I was not interested in cutting friends and those I wanted to be there simply to accommodate the children of people I never see. We had a few declines (mostly DH’s family but a couple of my cousins) but honestly none of them were missed…lol. They were all from people we see once every 5-10 years anyway. We had people fly across the country w/out their kids to attend while others brought their kids and hired a sitter based on recs from my mom friends.

I will say I am very lucky in the fact that my friends, while all awesome parents, still enjoy doing things without their kids. They won’t hesitate to get a sitter to enjoy an adult evening out. It always blows my mind when I see people who have no problems leaving their kid with grandma to go to dinner and movie – or an all-day ballgame out of town but then are “sooooo offended” when their kid isn’t invited to a wedding.

Post # 9
Member
9439 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We invited all kids but only because for us that was 3 extra guests.

You have to do what works for you. Kids are not entitled to an invite just because thier parents got one. Invite kids the same way you invite adults – yes to an invite if you like them, no to an invite if you don’t.

Post # 10
Member
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Fiance has a lot of young cousins (his dad is one of 6 children and they all went on to have large families) and some older cousins with children of their own. There are a few young cousins on my side of the family. Family friends on both sides of the family have young children. We also have a large chunk of friends who have children. Because there are so many kids, we decided to make our wedding an 18+ event – otherwise we’d have to cut people from the guestlist who we actually wanted to celebrate with to make room for kids we don’t really know at all. The only children who are invited are my siblings (aged 13, 8 and 5 – who are also in the wedding) and FI’s nephews (aged 3 and 1). We’ve had a few people unhappy with this decision, but once they realise that no other kids are invited they’ve generally been accepting.

Post # 12
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I was dealing with the same thing. Honestly just wanted my children that will be in the wedding there, but they are friends with a couple we invited and they also invited two other children so they will all entertain themselves. I’m not thrilled with babies or toddlers simply because most of the time the parents don’t control them and I’m not looking for anymore stress then I already have. 

Post # 13
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I wanted to do no kids but unfortunately Future Mother-In-Law pointed out that one of her sisters WILL NOT go anywhere without her kids.  It would be no-deal.  This turned into a huge argument with Fiance and I because he never mentioned this info when we agreed on no kids and now all of a sudden he didn’t care. 

In the end, though I can’t get away from not having kids (outside nieces/nephews).  However, I am strongly going to draw the line to those traveling from out of town.  It’s a lot harder to find a babysitter for a weekend (especially when your parents are coming to the wedding too) than it is to find one for just one night.

Post # 14
Member
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

We decided to go childfree because of two kids specifically. Of course, their parents don’t know that. We told our wedding party members when we asked them, and they were fine. One groomsmaid, my husband’s sister, decided at the last minute (right when invitations went out) that we should invite her children and pitched a fit. She tried to convince other siblings not to attend, telling the whole family that we uninvited her children. 

We made an exception for babies-in-arms. We were very surprised that the parents of the babies were the most excited about having a night out and basically refused to bring their children! 

 

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