(Closed) Kids at Weddings…to have or not to have?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should guests be allowed to bring kids to the ceremony and reception?
    Yes! Bring them to both! : (48 votes)
    27 %
    No, they'll be distracting and will disengage the parents. : (76 votes)
    43 %
    Bring them to the reception only. : (5 votes)
    3 %
    Just invite children of immediate family. : (48 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3276 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think some parents are more likely not to come if their kids aren’t invited, I know I would be less likely go to, have to pay a sitter, etc and would still leave early if I had to leave them at home. My FSIL’s child will be 6 months at the wedding, I would never ask her to leave the baby at home for my wedding. We will be having about 40-50 kids and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s a personal preference really, I work at a daycare, love kids, etc so it will be different for each person. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    3572 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I invited the children of immediately family.  The kids had a great time, and I would regret not having them there. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    8471 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I would not have had kids at my wedding… Luckily the youngest was 6 and there were only like two or three more under 12.

    They were not a distraction at all.  Not one single kid did something wrong.  However I knew they were good kids, but still, you never know.

    Babies, in my opinion, have no business being at a wedding. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    13096 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We had kids at my wedding 3 years ago and at my sister’s wedding this past weekend (including a 6 month old).  They had a great time and the wedding/reception wouldn’t have been the same without them there.  Plus, they’re adorable.  And they weren’t a distraction during the ceremony at all.

    Not one kid cried or did anything wrong or disrupted anything.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1188 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    My answer depends on your venue and how formal your wedding is.  

    I have children, so obviously, I like them.  They are super adorable dancing in their dress up clothes, too.  However, I think if you are having a really formal wedding and a very posh venue, it might not be the place for children.  I’ve been to weddings where dinner was served closer to 8 PM and the focus was on drinks and dancing where I think children might not really enjoy themselves.

    But overall, for most weddings, I think kids are a lot of fun and really, most people do watch their children.  It seems like everyone has that one friend or family member who doesn’t, but I think the majority of people are going to make sure their children behave on your day.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2073 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    We had a fairly formal wedding and at least 15 children under 10. They were all of my cousins’ kids. These kiddos have grown up going to Mass every Sunday since they were born. Very polite, well manner children. Our wedding was fantastic. The children were in no way a distraction. Their parents were still able to have a great time.  our family is very close so all these kids are used to spending lots of time together. The older ones looked after the younger ones some too. Our friends commented on how well behaved they were and how much fun they were to watch on the dance floor. 

     

    I work with kids and absolutely adore them. I couldn’t have imagined having my wedding without my cousins’ kids. I put together little gift bags for each child bot have at their seats in case they got bored and those were a big hit. Each one of my cousins made it a point to have their kids come up and thank me and my husband for letting them be a part of our day. It warmed my heart. 

     

     

     

    That was my experience. Obviously, you know your guests.  Are the kids hellions or do they know how to behave?  What kind of wedding are you having?  Will your family go apeshit and threaten to boycott if their children are not invited?  Do you and your fiancé even like kids (totally ok if you don’t)?  All things to consider. But it is possible to have a formal type wedding with children present without it turning into a kiddie free for all.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    685 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’ve only been to 2 weddings that allowed kids and they both had screamers.  I’d at least provide a babysitter during the ceremony if you plan on having them, during the reception everyone’s loud anyway.

    One of the two brides of the weddings I went to with kids said she regretted it because all she can hear in her wedding video is the group of kids who was running up and down the aisles at church and screaming. 

    I don’t think the other bride noticed anything wrong, but I got to sit in the row right in front of the kid that was crying and, as a guest, I was definitely annoyed that they didn’t just take her outside until she stopped crying then brought her back in.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1129 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I voted “Just invite children of immediate family” because is almost imposible (well at least in Mexico, where I am from) to keep family from bringing kids. 
    I plan to invite family kids and some of the kids of our friends, because we are close to this kids. So we’ll include a kid invite in the adult invite we give the family. 

    We’ll set a table for kids with coloring paper, crayons, games etc. And hire two people to take care of them and play with them. I hope it works.

    I won’t invite babies though.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2553 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @FutureMrsBPJ: 

    How many people do you think would have kids? Before our plans changed and we were planning a larger wedding, the # of kids terrified me. Take my three cousins for example. They two of them have FOUR kids and one has three. Thats 11 there and doesnt include everybody else who had kids. We had a 100 person limit and 1/4 of them ended up being kids!!! And if you take +1s into account, we really didnt have too many close friends and family there.  If you only have like 10 kids there, then that could make for some reallllly cute pictures (as long as theres not crying babies at the ceremony.)

    Post # 12
    Member
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think you just have to make the decision based on the atmosphere you’re looking for.

    We had 250-ish at our wedding, and 35 of them were kids. It was AWESOME. They were so much fun and so sweet. No one cried during our ceremony (or maybe they did, but I didn’t notice). Sure, they ran around, but there was a golf course area for them, and it was fun. We had a children’s tent staffed with babysitters, but the kids were welcome to hang out inside with us, too. They pretty much all came in when dancing started. There were a couple of activities out there for them, and they had activity booklets. We even found cute place card holders that had little animals on them, and they felt pretty special.

    I can’t imagine NOT having had kids at our wedding. But I’m sure I’d feel differently if we’d had the wedding inside a fancy restaurant or something. Up to you what vibe you are going for.

    Post # 14
    Hostess
    8576 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    We are only having 2 children at our wedding, my niece who is my flower girl & my cousin, who will be an usher.

    I thought long & hard about the children. I would have really loved to invite all of the children in our family/friends, but due to 2 of the families [combined about 8 children total], I couldn’t do it. Their children are VERY ill behaved & not disciplined. A few of them are known for thieving, and the rest are just rowdy & don’t listen.

    I thought about just not inviting their children, and inviting the “good” kids, but that really opens up a can of worms. It’s less of a headache to invite none of them.

    Post # 15
    Member
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I have never been to a weddng without children.  Don’t you think that the parents should decide if the kids would keep them from having fun?  (aka leave them home with a sitter or family member.)

    Post # 16
    Member
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    As everyone should know by now, I think children belong at weddings.

    I am also very surprised at people who say they wouldn’t have babies there. If I had a small child and they couldn’t come, I wouldn’t either. How would I breastfeed if my child was not there? Would you expect me to leave my small child for two days to drink formula, and for me to have painful and uncomfortable breasts, or would you prefer that I simply milked myself like a cow in order to remove the discomfort?

    Anyway, I think that invitations should be for the family unit, in most cases.

    The topic ‘Kids at Weddings…to have or not to have?’ is closed to new replies.

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