(Closed) Kids at Weddings…to have or not to have?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should guests be allowed to bring kids to the ceremony and reception?

    Yes! Bring them to both!

    No, they'll be distracting and will disengage the parents.

    Bring them to the reception only.

    Just invite children of immediate family.

  • Post # 47
    Member
    79 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    Just a thought for everyone….I was the Maid/Matron of Honor at my sister’s wedding and ended up chasing around a toddler half the night who was blowing out ALL of the candles ALL over the room. (there were A LOT of little tealights on the tables) She was the grooms niece, and her parents did not watch her at all…running around EVERYWHERE!  That alone will make me think very long and hard about which children, if any, to invite to a wedding in the future! 

    Post # 48
    Member
    838 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2008

    Weddings are the merging of 2 families. The families include children. The youngest child at my wedding was 7 months old. I wouldn’t change it for the world. Everyone had a good time, kids included.

    Post # 49
    Member
    48 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We are having a kid free wedding with the exception of our 4 year old daughter, who will be in the wedding, then come to the 1st hour of the reception, after that hour her grandma will take her home. That way she can be involved in all of the festivites, but we don’t have to worry about where she is every second. 

    Post # 50
    Member
    4521 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    We will have family as the only young kids, but a few age 10+ will be there as well.

    Post # 51
    Member
    2285 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    We had 4 kids at the wedding, 3 of them were under 5 years old. They were all fine. I bought them coloring books, crayons, and a light up glow stick wand at the dollar store. They all ran around and had a blast. No one cried or fussed during our ceremony. Two of the families did leave at 8 pm because the kids were getting sleepy. But it wasn’t a big deal.

    Post # 52
    Member
    547 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2019

    My SO and I have discussed this in the “when we get married” kinda way and have agreed that there will be no children.

    Post # 53
    Member
    301 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    All my close family memebers and myself had children in our weddings. The only exception  was a cousin of mine, who’s wedding I did not attend because of this reason. We grew up in the same house as sisters, and honestly I was offended that she did not allow for me to bring my children, but my other cousins could. I did not understand why I was being singled out.  She changed her mind at the last minute, and my mother took my children with her (I was kind of pressured into that), but I did not attend.

    I realize I just got supper personal out of the blue. I guess I am still hurt about it. It happened last year. She did not attend my wedding which was just a few months after hers.

    We are pretty old school Latino, so this might not apply to you, but I would invite at least the close family’s children. I imagine they all love you and would want to be a part of your special day. Kids are also super fun at weddings. They dance about and spread love and joy. I think they are a total positive addition. 😀

    Good luck with your decision, and I hope you have a wonderful and beautiful day. 🙂

    Post # 54
    Member
    525 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I was against having children, but Fiance wants neices/nephews to come.  So our brothers and sisters will have the OPTION of bringing their children.  Our ceremony isn’t until 6:30 and is at a pretty fancy place with a full open bar (and my FAMILY-nevermind friends-like to party) and the reception doesn’t end until 12:00 pm.  I personally think those are all reasons NOT to have children-no child should be up that late.  At FSIL’s wedding, one of the nieces spent the ENTIRE ceremony screaming and crying (and she was 6-so NOT young and should certainly have known better).  My lovely nephews are little hellions (for example, they ate the entire cake at my Mother’s surprise 50th with their hands! Luckily we had cupcakes) and honestly my Brother and SIL leave it up to other people to watch their children when they go places (like visiting family, birthday parties, etc.

    You know the children that you will most likely invite.  I guess it depends on the child and how well behaved they are (and if their parents ACTUALLY watch them or not).  But I believe that a fancy event (or even just certain spaces-like another Bee said her wedding is at a winery and why she thinks children shouldn’t attend) with open bar that starts and ends very late is really no place for a child.

    Post # 55
    Member
    67 posts
    Worker bee

    Kids+wedding=distracted parents and unhappy kids. Best to get a sitter, but some parents are so self-centered they refuse to come unless Junior can tag along. 

    Post # 56
    Member
    296 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

     My choice NO KIDS.  My guests are getting dressed up it is a formal occasion dinner dancing drinks.  Couples look forward to a nice evening out together and should not have to deal with their own or other children.  

    That said My Fiance has a 10 and 12 yo they will attend the first part and we are arranging an early ride home for them. So I had to vote immediate family ok.  

    If the venu is a backyard informal bbq then I could see children at that.  

    Post # 57
    Member
    1926 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Absolutely not for us. We’re having an adult only reception, age 16+. We just don’t think that a formal, open bar, evening reception is a good place for children.

    Another (admittedly horrible on my part) reason is that my least favorite aunt has 10 children and won’t come if her children aren’t all invited- we cannot afford to feed and entertain all 12 of them! They also have condemned non-Catholic relationship and would refuse to attend our ceremony anyway. 

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