(Closed) Kids before marriage?!

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
1714 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I can’t see the big deal with it personally. Fine in my books

Post # 4
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Well considering we already have 2 kids before we’re married, I’m fine with it. It certainly wasn’t planned that way, well the first one wasn’t anyway. Our relationship has been a little backwards, but it’s worked out well for us. At least there won’t be any suprises for me in the parenting dept to cause fights when we’re married. 😛

Post # 5
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Fine by me.

Post # 6
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hahah, whatever floats your boat.

Post # 7
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

With my previous marriage, we decided, because of health reasons, to begin trying before the wedding. That marriage, indeed, produced no children. I think it depends on the couple and their reasoning, which is generally none of my business. 

Post # 8
Member
2330 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I haven’t, but I’m pretty young (only 21.)

I personally would want to get married first, but I know a lot of bees choose not to.

I’d love for there to be some kind of poll on how many bees have babies first- it seems to me that it’s what the majority of bees do, but I might just be looking at the wrong threads.

I’d also totally be curious to know if the bees who had them first had them on accident or if they were planned that way. (Not that it makes a difference- accident babies are beautiful. My mom was an accident, so thank God for them haha.)

No judgments at all, by the way! I’m totally just curious and I’d love to know why bees choose to do babies first since it’s not something I encounter a lot in my area. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I think people can do whatever works for them personally! I don’t have kids get, and I’m getting married next month, so I won’t have kids before I’m married, but I have plenty of friends/family that have gone that route, and it totally works for them! 🙂

Post # 10
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think ideally one should have children within the context of marriage, but there are entirely too many different life circumstances to make a general statement about it, at least for me. Accidents happen, gay people cannot get married in some states, and sometimes people never find someone they want to be with. I don’t think these circumstances make it “wrong” to have children.

Post # 11
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

It would not work for me.

Post # 12
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

For me… I would like to be married  prior to( or ever) birthing small things.

For everyone elce… IDGF. What ever works. 

Post # 13
Member
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My SO and I plan on getting married before having kids, but it’s up to each couple to decide what’s right for them. I’m not talking about this thread (because it’s asking for opinions) but around the Bee in general, it makes me sad to see the “zomg kids out of wedlock the shaaaaame” comments that pop up sometimes.

Post # 14
Hostess
7564 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

The best environment to raise children is one where they have two loving, committed parents. That’s the most important thing for me when people have children. You’re more likely to find that in a marriage but not always. 

Post # 15
Member
10289 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

If an accident happened before we were married then so be it but it’s certainly not something I ever would have tried for. I don’t care when other couples choose to start a family but after marriage is what’s “right” for us. 

Post # 16
Member
3627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Not right for us! Isn’t it a great feeling to be less than 9 months away from your wedding? Haha. 

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