Post # 31
‘She expressed a concern about them being cranky if they don’t eat within their normal eating hour…’. Well obviously you should reorganize your entire wedding so that her precious snowflakes get to eat dinner at their regularly scheduled time!
This is NOT your problem to solve Bee. End of story and don’t give it another moment of thought.
Post # 32
I’ve done weddings with and without my kids and niece and nephews who’s ages range from 4-12 and cocktails hour typically was fine but at one very beautiful wedding the did cocktail hour with apps and then before anyone could eat they had us all sit for another hour of speeches with zero food it was after 8 by then and unexpected and to make it even worse it was buffet and they called by tables and we had the only children at the wedding so table was all children and teens so 8 in total and our table right by them full with another 8. The bridal party went first then they randomly called tables and our kids table wasn’t being called like 7 tables in – it was a mess. Our grandma *also grandma of the groom had taken some of the kids to a fire pit bc it was also quite cool as it got later and later. That left the table with our kids purses, jackets, etc on the table but other guests started to take their table with their filled plates. At this point I had to explain it was taken bc we had to be seated with our children and the guy went to the brides dad loudly screaming about it. Ugh. Every other wedding it’s been fine having apps for the kids (again the only kids bc my sister and I are the oldest of our generation and first to have kids- they weren’t child free weddings)
Post # 33
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
We had a lot of finger foods during our cocktail hour. Our dinner was served at 6pm if parents wanted their children to eat first then they should have brought snacks
Post # 34
Since it sounds like the woman allows her kids to run things, it’s likely they’ll be up running all over the place during the actual dinner time. I would say no. Maybe they should stay home.
Post # 35
I agree with PPs about mom having to figure it out.
But disagree with some PPs about kids & weddings. It’s not a bad thing to have kids at an evening reception; just depends on the kids and the parents. Our family often has get togethers in the summer that go late and the parents manage them one way or another (leave early, make sure they take a late nap, etc.). Another option for events I’ve seen, but IDK how common it is, is that one parent goes home early with the little ones.
We’re having kids at the wedding and I fully expect them to run around during dinner (even if they do eat their meal, they don’t eat all that much) and I’m totally ok with that. They’re small children.
Post # 36
knightmiss : just be extra careful that Aunt Sophie who has a new Titanium hip isn’t knocked down by some overtired little charmer who sees the dance floor as an amazing place for a wild free run!
I am wildly grateful that “in my day” children were regarded as children rather than being subjected to absurd situations which for them, were boring, unsafe, and uncomfortable, and potentially a source of discomfort and distraction to the adult participants.
Post # 37
Yeah.. I wouldn’t accommodate this. She can plan ahead and feed them before the wedding and/or bring some light snacks. I don’t see why appetizers wouldn’t tide them over. She’s concerned that a 2 and 4 year old will “eat all the apps, hahaha”? Maybe it’s me, but that seems like a bit of a controlling response. If the appetizers are kid friendly, I don’t see why it’s a problem. If there was to be no food at all, I would kind of see her point, but at 2 and 4, it’s not like they will be eating huge portions anyway.
Post # 38
Mom of 5 here.
No. Let the kids graze. What are they going to do during dinner? They would be running around causing havoc. Kids CAN eat an hour later than normal. It’s not the end of the world especially if they have some snacks to tide them over. It’s a wedding. It’s a cheat day. If they fill up on apps so be it. At least have them try to sit for dinner. If anything mom should arrange a sitter for the littles after the ceremony. Because your biggest issue isn’t going to be hangry little ones it’s going to be over tired, over stimulated little ones.
Post # 39
ann.reid.9277 : I understand your point, but the dance floor is probably not the place for a person with a new hip regardless. If the kid is letting loose on the dance floor, it’s all good.
If someone is having a very formal (or stuffy or particularly adult) event, then I can see leaving the kids at home. Otherwise, it’s a family event and why should the kids be excluded? How is a wedding unsafe for a kid? I don’t get that.
Post # 40
coffeelvr45 : if the parents know dinner is at 7:30 they can feed their kids accordingly. Your wedding does not have to follow their schedule.
Post # 41
knightmiss : Sustained exposure to sounds over 85 dB can permanently damage the hearing of babies and small children. Most wedding bands/amplification systems far exceed safe sound levels for children. Five hours of reception music can permanently reduce hearing acuity in children. Don’t take MY word for this-google it.
Weddings are planned to delight and entertain adults. Long periods of sitting quietly, unusual food items served outside of typical mealtimes, and lack of sleep can all make babies and children uncomfortable and reduce their ability to maintain age appropriate behaviors.
“Letting loose” (whatever the definition of that is) in appropriate settings with adult supervision is not problematic. Running at full speed around a crowded dance floor may well be a problem for adult invited guests who would otherwise be enjoying the experience, and especially in a noisy darkened, crowded environment late at night, may also be the cause of falls, collisions, and bumps for the children themselves.
Activities such as picnics, trips to the beach, birthday parties, Christenings, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, sporting events, visits to zoos, amusement parks (especially those designed for children) and similar activities held during daytime hours are typically valuable for inter-generational socialization. Weddings, especially formal or very large or past bedtime hours, provide few opportunities.
Children don’t really like being at weddings, and many sensible parents prefer to think of the comfort of their children whenever possible. In those few incidents when children must be subjected to the rigors of wedding attendance, appropriate hearing protection should be provided, and at least one adult should be purposefully designated to guide the children as comfortably as possible through the event.