Post # 1
Originally, FH and I were fine having kids at our wedding but after adding a couple cousins to the guest list? All of a sudden we have a dozen kids on the guest list and too many guests. So, I want to do an adults-only event (ceremony & reception). However, I already mentioned to FH’s brother + Future Mother-In-Law that our niece who was just born would be our flower girl (she’ll be just over a year old). They were very excited about the idea and while I wouldn’t mind talking to them and changing plans, I’d rather not.
Is it okay to have only 1 kid at the wedding (my 1 year old niece who is also the flower girl) and not invite any other children? Does “children” mean under 18?
I also have a step-brother who will be there but he will be 17…
My FH and I don’t want kids and in general? We aren’t really “kids” people in the first place. I really would prefer to not have kids at my wedding. I am not bent on having my niece as the flower girl since her parents might enjoy having a night out and away since she’s only a year old. Our wedding is from about 5:30-10p and there will be lots of beer & wine, maybe not the best environment for kids anyways.
<b> Note: I’m not having an official wedding party either – I’m not intending to have anyone stand up with us during the ceremony although I would love to have a flower girl come down the aisle before me 🙂 </b>
Post # 3
It’s perfectly okay to invite your younger brother & your flower girl, just make sure to limit it to only your immediate family & children in the wedding party. Nobody can argue with that =]
Post # 4
I think that it’s fine, people should understand, my only concern is the comments i’ve seen on other boards about how kids that young can be very hard to get to be flower girls or ring bearers. Her mother might have to help her, just wondered if you had thought about that.
Post # 5
@swisea01: I was thinking of having FH’s brother (her dad) pull her in a wagon with a sign that says “Uncle Jeremy – Here Comes Your Girl!” since I doubt she’d be able to tottle down the aisle on her own. And it helps to include my FH’s brother since my Future Mother-In-Law was pretty bent that he has some kind of special role. Thanks <3
Post # 6
I don’t think there’s anything offensive about having your niece and no other children, but the environment may not be the best for a young child (especially since you mentioned before that you were having a place for people to smoke pot…). I think I’d have her as a flower girl (with one of her parents to help her, since a 1 year old really won’t do it alone) and then ask the parents to arrange a sitter to come get her for the evening.
Post # 7
@kateisstoned: That sounds good then!
Post # 8
I think its fine. Dd has been the only kid at a few weddings bc she was the flower girl and they were adult only. Usually what we do is get our babysitter to take her home after dinner & a little dancing so she’s not there all night. People get drunk & no one wants there kid around that.
Post # 9
@kittyface: if this is correct, I’d change my vote from yes to no. if anything like that is going on for some part of the wedding, best to just not have the little girl there at all.
Post # 10
I think it is ok. It is your wedding. We have my kids at my wedding party (7 and 10). We also have a friend who has her baby (2 months that was a no brainer), my cousin who is 14 because she is part of the only family I talk to and her brothers are 19 and 22, I could not leave only her out, I would feel awful. But those were our only exceptions. We expected to be met with some kickback from friends, but we weren’t. 2 husbands of bridal party members were unable to come, but one would not have been able to come anyhow due to a big event with boy scouts. One other family is traveling with an aunt who is taking care of all the kids (4 under the age of 7) while they are at the wedding . I was going to offer babysitters and such but most people jumped at the chance to have a short trip sans kids.
Post # 11
You are free to invite whomever you see fit.
There is no etiquette authority that supports the if you invite one of a group, you invite them all theory.
Inviting by level of closeness is just as (though I’d argue more) valid as by arbitrary, made up cut off, or level of blood relation.