(Closed) Kids in the wedding party at an adults-only wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it okay to have kids in the wedding party but not invite other children?
    Yes : (13 votes)
    87 %
    No : (2 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    8579 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    It’s perfectly okay to invite your younger brother & your flower girl, just make sure to limit it to only your immediate family & children in the wedding party. Nobody can argue with that =]

    Post # 4
    514 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think that it’s fine, people should understand, my only concern is the comments i’ve seen on other boards about how kids that young can be very hard to get to be flower girls or ring bearers. Her mother might have to help her, just wondered if you had thought about that.

    Post # 6
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I don’t think there’s anything offensive about having your niece and no other children, but the environment may not be the best for a young child (especially since you mentioned before that you were having a place for people to smoke pot…). I think I’d have her as a flower girl (with one of her parents to help her, since a 1 year old really won’t do it alone) and then ask the parents to arrange a sitter to come get her for the evening.

    Post # 8
    1966 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think its fine. Dd has been the only kid at a few weddings bc she was the flower girl and they were adult only. Usually what we do is get our babysitter to take her home after dinner & a little dancing  so she’s not there all night. People get drunk & no one wants there kid around that. 

    Post # 9
    1772 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @kittyface:  if this is correct, I’d change my vote from yes to no.  if anything like that is going on for some part of the wedding, best to just not have the little girl there at all.

    Post # 10
    450 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I think it is ok. It is your wedding. We have my kids at my wedding party (7 and 10). We also have a friend who has her baby (2 months that was a no brainer), my cousin who is 14 because she is part of the only family I talk to and her brothers are 19 and 22, I could not leave only her out, I would feel awful.  But those were our only exceptions. We expected to be met with some kickback from friends, but we weren’t. 2 husbands of bridal party members were unable to come, but one would not have been able to come anyhow due to a big event with boy scouts. One other family is traveling with an aunt who is taking care of all the kids (4 under the age of 7) while they are at the wedding . I was going to offer babysitters and such but most people jumped at the chance to have a short trip sans kids. 



    Post # 11
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee

    You are free to invite whomever you see fit. 

    There is no etiquette authority that supports the if you invite one of a group, you invite them all theory. 

    Inviting by level of closeness is just as (though I’d argue more) valid as by arbitrary, made up cut off, or level of blood relation.


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