(Closed) kids in the wedding?!

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Hm, you’ll probably get mixed responses here.  I personally cannot stand childen in a wedding.   So I would opt for just having the two (or none at all!).  Either way, six YOUNG kids in one wedding sounds like a heck of a lot! What exactly would they all do? 

Post # 4
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

hi, FutureMrsMuller, and congrats on your engagement!  So exciting!  And welcome to the ‘bee.

we are having 7 – yes, count ’em – 7 kids under the age of 6 in our wedding party.  this is because my fiance’s twin sister has 4 children, his other sister has 1, my brother has 1, and he also has a very close little cousin. his family is coming 3,000 miles for this wedding so we figured, what the hey, let’s just let ’em all be one big happy group.

4 flowergirls – ages 6, 5, 4, and 1
3 ring bearers – ages 4, 3, and 1

we’re probably gonna let the little ones come down the aisle in a cluster, get their oohs and aahs, and then go sit with their respective families for the duration of the ceremony.  everybody gets to be included, but it shouldn’t turn into a circus.

i know kids in a wedding isn’t everybody’s cup of tea, but for us, it just made sense not to exclude family, especially when they’re so excited and coming so far for our big day.

good luck with all your planning!

Post # 6
875 posts
Busy bee

I think the two ring bearer idea could work… you could have your nephew carry his ring and his carry your ring!  The fact that they are the oldest is a plus for you as well.  But the cluster of kids could be fun as well.  However the infant/toddlers are probably too little anyway, so their families won’t think a thing of it! 

Post # 7
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010


 I love kids in the wedding! To have them in your wedding doesn’t mean they have to stand up the entire ceremony- it just means they’ll get to be in pictures maybe they’ll match, and they get to walk down the isle. Kids always add life and ‘aws’- I think it would be special to have the kids be a part of the big day. 


Post # 8
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think you’ll be fine with just the two oldest, especially since there’s one from your side and one from his, and especially if all the others are 4 and under.  Then you can tell his siblings that “everyone says that 5-7 is the best age for ringbearers and flower girls, and you can relax and enjoy the wedding” because it can be stressful making sure your child doesn’t mess up during the ceremony.  For instance, my sister froze and forgot to throw the rose petals, and my cousin cried and had to be carried down the aisle by her father.  It’s not like you’re not part of the family unless you’re in the wedding party – someone has to be guests! 

Post # 9
2640 posts
Sugar bee

Well you do make an argument or just the two oldest. 

I am a little concerned that he has five, and they age range is fairly close (2-6).  Does that mean there is another 6 yr old?  5 yr old?  I think some of his nieces/nephews could be hurt, feeling like their uncle is playing favorites.  The 2 yr olds won’t notice or care.  3 yr olds -it depends.  A girl might -boy probably not.  But at 4 or 5, I think they could start to ask questions.  They might already feel like he likes the oldest best because he lives with him. 

Probably more compelling is the family drama you might get.  Like colorfulbride said, it’s not like it has to be a big deal to have them all in the wedding.  Pick out a cute outfit.  Send them down the aisle.  Weeeee! 

Just my vote.

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