(Closed) Kids: Invasion of the uninvited wedding guests.

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 1
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I feel so naive that I actually thought we would get away without numerous requests from invited guests to bring their wonderful, adorable, otherwise fabulous and yet uninvited children to our wedding! Now, it’s not a kid free wedding entirely, our children will be there obviously, as well as our nieces and nephews which will total 4 teens and 5 tots. 

 

I was careful to address each invite formally with only the names of those invited and while it is an “at home wedding” it’s really not casual at all. The invites were formal, the wedding website is formal. I feel awful. We did not budget for these extra little people and yet would feel terrible if our friends were unable or unwilling to attend because they can’t bring their children. 

 

A few of my other concerns besides seating and food are: complete domination of the dance floor, while cute when it’s one or two, 12 kids under the age of 10 running across the dance floor will quickly deter any adult from wanting to dance, there’s also a pond on the property which makes me nervous, and lastly, I want my friends to enjoy themselves! I don’t want them to have to be chasing their kids around or worrying about them or have to leave early because of them. I’m the parent of a 4 year old and two year old so I get it. Finding a sitter can be hard but, bringing them with can put a damper on things as well. Not to mention I would never think to bring my kids if they were not invited.

 

Any advice on how to handle this delicate situation? Frown

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Post # 3
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have the fear of the same dilemma.  My invitations are going out today, and we are also having a kid-free wedding (the youngest invited guest is 17).  My aunt said something to my mom about her son bringing his 3 kids, and mom just flat out told her it’s no children and offered to help find a babysitter.  My mom is trying to spread word of mouth that no children are invited (ages 17+ are).  I’m hoping this gets around to everyone and no problems arise.  If people put their kids on the RSVPs, my mom is going to personally make calls to tell people the children can’t come.  I just wish people had the sense to respect your wedding choices, as you would theirs.

Post # 4
Member
4692 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

I 100% agree you should not have kids at your wedding if you don’t want them. I was in the same boat- we told one cousin her 2 year old couldn’t come (wtf) and she was mad but oh well.

Unfortunately, you’re going to have to email or call each person and tell them their kids aren’t invited. YOU’RE not being rude. Weddings are adult events. 

Post # 5
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

As soon as people ask or RSVP with extras, respond immediately with, “I’m sorry, but the invitation is only for those listed on the envelope.”

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