(Closed) Kids or no kids????

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

It’s totally okay to not invite kids, even if you are allowing those in the wedding party to attend the reception. I would put something like “adult reception to follow” and get it out by word of mouth as well that kids are not invited.

There might be some stress around it though. Some people will still ask, or still RSVP including their kids, so there might be some followup needed on your part, or by your parents/in laws to let those guests no there are no kids allowed. If you decide no kids, be prepared to stand your ground!

 

Post # 4
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We are not having any children at ours. The youngest will be the FH’s son at 13. We wanted an adult party so that’s what we are doing. There is nothing wrong with not wanting them.

Post # 6
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

It’s your choice who you invite to your wedding, including children. But you are asking for headaches once you slice and dice kids–ie, these kids but not those kids. There is an exception for kids who are part of the ceremony, but in general, it’s going to be a lot easier on you if you establish hard and fast lines–no kids under 18 or no kids except those in the ceremony–“no kids but those in the ceremony plus my nephew” is going to be a harder sell. But if you’re prepared to deal with the consequences, then go ahead.

If you are okay wtih the likelihood you’ll have to make some awkward phone calls for the inevitable consternation from parents who RSVP their kids, then go ahead and just write the parents’ name on the invitation and RSVP card (if you fill them in). I don’t think there’s a need to write “adults only” or “no kids” on the invite–in that case, you run the risk of offending far more people than you do preventing the 1 or 2 that would even consider bringing children.

Post # 7
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I just had this “discussion” with my mother last night.  I personally don’t want kids at my wedding.  I’m only having my nieces and nephews there.  My mom wants to invite every child that she’s ever met.  This would lead to a lot more people that I want at my reception.  I love kids but don’t want them there.  Will I piss some people off?  Absolutely!!!  But you can never make everyone happy.  A coworker just gave me some great advice today.  She said it’s my and my FH’s wedding and to make sure that we’re happy with it.

I honestly don’t understand some parents who refuse to be separated from their children for one night.  I’m not saying all parents who want to bring their kids are like this but I know many who are. . . including my sister in law.

Post # 9
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@mrskisstobe: that’s the common way to do it: write “we have reserved X seats” in your honor and put the number of adults.

You don’t have to explain why you want your nephew there to ME, but just understand that to others, they won’t really care if there’s a reason–they’ll just see a kid and think back to the fact you didn’t invite their kids. I’m just alerting you to the fact. And also be prepared that some people will decline because you aren’t allowing their kids, just fyi.

In other words, justifying WHY you don’t want kids is irrelevant. It’s just about how you plan on dealing with any fallout from your decision.

Post # 12
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think it is perfectly fine to have an adult wedding! It is your day and as a mother you alwys feel obligated to watch other peoples kids(it is the nature of being a mom). If people get upset then they get upset.

Post # 14
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

it sounds like you have a good plan there. just don’t let it get out of control with people crossing out there alloted number of seats and adding in their kids. we’re doing adults only except for FI’s brother who will be 12, plus we are allowing him to bring one of his cousins so he’ll have someone to hang out with. they are both very mature for their age so i’m not worried about them, but the thought of a dozen or so kids running around just doesn’t appeal to me. my parents never brought us to wedding either – i went to my first wedding when i was 18 – so i think this is totally normal. i would seriously rather someone not give me a gift and use that money to pay for a babysitter for the night.

Post # 16
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

EH; this is DEF. a touchy subject! me “personally” am allowing children at both my ceremony and reception! but i do understand how you may feel! but i also know as a mother that if you choose not to invite children some parents may get thier feelings hurt!! and may EVEN end up not comming at all!!! wether its because thier feelings got hurt..or they dont haave a baby sitter. cutting children out of your wedding will DEF. cut the people who show up.

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