Kids sharing rooms?

posted 1 week ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
3510 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 29th, 2016

Growing up, I shared a bedroom with my older sister (6 years older) until we moved into a larger house. We never had nurseries, my mom just kept our crib in her bedroom until we were big enough to sleep in a bed. When she married my stepdad and our stepsister moved in, she had her own bedroom while I shared with my big sister before we moved into the bigger house. I can’t see putting an infant and an older child in the same room, even if it’s just part-time. Good luck with TTC and finding a bigger place 🙂  

Post # 3
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I shared a room with my sister who was 2 years younger. I wouldn’t recommend too much of an age gap

Post # 4
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020 - City, State

I’m also in Chicago, and I hear you on the rentals. Cost and availability have to be a factor here. I’d say you have it a bit easier since you have a stepdaughter rather than stepson, because (and I’m assuming here) most young ladies would be more thrilled to share a room with baby than a young boy would. 

I’d say buy your stepdaughter a loft bed if you do a two-bedroom. This way, you won’t be sacrificing as much space. 

Post # 5
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018 - NC

I definitely would not put an infant who wakes up crying every few hours in a room with an older child. It seems unfair for the older child to have his/her sleep disrupted like that.

 

Later on, when both kids are older (toddler and up) I think it would be ok, if needed. But definitely keep the baby in your room at first.

Post # 6
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

piper628 :  My brother and I shared a room for a while when we were kids.  My parents gave us the master bedroom and they slept in the smaller bedroom.  They kind of divided the room in half, making a barrier to split off our “sides.” 

Post # 8
Member
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

By the time you have a 1 year old who needs their own room, your step-daughter would probably be closer to 9? Personally at 8 or 9 that would have made me really uncomfortable. I wonder if there’s a way you could furnish and decorate the room so that it feels like its for both of them, but on the weekends you have your step-daughter, I’d let her have it and bring your baby/toddler into your room. I don’t know how the baby would deal with that kind of transition on a regular basis, but it would be nice to give the older daughter privacy. I hear you on 3 bedrooms on a city, it’s tough! I hope you can find something that works! 

ETA: I saw you said “most of the summer” too so perhaps it wouldn’t work, but just a thought! 

Post # 10
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Ideally I wouldn’t want my kids to share a room. Usually baby sleeps in the parents room for awhile (my son did until he was about 4 months) and then transition. You could probably keep the baby in your room for longer if needed. 

I think the age gap makes it a little awkward. I wouldn’t want to make an 8-9 year old share a room with a 1 year old or less. Then you run into the issue if they’re opposite gender, I personally would just want to give them their own space for privacy. I think it’s important for kids to have their own defined spaces. Thats my personal opinion. 

Post # 11
Member
9509 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

It would make more sense to me that the infant would stay in your room.

Post # 12
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee

piper628 :  We have a very similar situation in that I have a stepchild around the same age as yours and we just had a baby. We were in a 3 bedroom house, but knowing we wanted another kid and “losing” the guest room when we had a baby meant that a pair of siblings would definitely need to share a room if we had another.

So, we went back and forth on it because while one is only with us part time, we didn’t want them to feel like they were guests and that they had their own space. So for that and a few other reasons, we moved to a larger home with another bedroom.

However; had we stayed put, we would have had the oldest 2 share a room and the youngest have their own while they were still needing a lot of night attention and then reasses the situation in a few years and see if that still made sense. PLENTY of kids share rooms, and if it isn’t feasible to get a bigger place then I wouldn’t sweat it too much.

 

 

ETA: at my stepchilds mom’s house, they share a bedroom with their stepsilbings and so far, it has worked out pretty well. They’re close in age, but I think the set up is a loft style bed for each and their own space for each one.

Post # 13
Member
2064 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I shared a room with my sister when she was a baby/toddler and we had a large age gap (8 years). But by the time I was older, I had my own space. That being said, I think there is something to be said for giving your step daughter her own space so she doesn’t feel like a visitor in your home. I’d try to find a way to make that work. Maybe a lofted living space? Also, depending on when you move and get pregnant it’s going to feel like step daughter is losing her room for the new baby and that’s going to cause some resentment. Can you move a bit outside the city to get what you need? It sounds like your needs are greater than what the budget allows for in the city. 

Post # 14
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

My concern would be that the step daughter would feel like her room was “given” to the baby and like she had no space of her own. Having a blended family can be challenging enough, I would make every possible effort to make sure the step daughter has her own personal and welcoming space in the home.

Post # 15
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

People deal when they have to. Lots of people don’t even have the luxury of considering an extra bedroom. If the love and time for each child is there, I don’t believe you’re going to cause much harm. I’d plan on keeping baby in your room until it’s 1. At that point, can you give the older girl the element of choice? Like making her a living space somewhere that isn’t a traditional bedroom or helping her decorate her share of the kid’s room and getting her set up with a loft bed or something – maybe wrange some curtains so she has some privacy. If she is involved in the compromise, it may go down better. Yeah, it’s not ideal, but them’s the breaks. I remember having sleepovers at my friend’s house when we were in elementary school and she shared a room with her toddler brother. He was a little annoying sometimes, but we never questioned the arrangement – that’s just how it was.

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